Stress makes me emotional. And that leads to irrational crying.
So today I made myself feel like a complete and total idiot. I was sitting in my SAO class when a slide popped up reminding us that out initiation was December 4th. I took one hard look at that and immediately started stressing out. That was the same day I had bought tickets to see GCN with Brianna and Brittany. How did I forget about initiation?! Ugh! If that wasn't enough, my little sister texted me and told me that my dad gave Snowball {my cat} away 10 days ago.
{I'm going to miss her...}
He didn't even tell me, and he just told Jennifer today. We had her for over ten years :( Honestly, my dad pulled a major jerk move, and I can't wait to tell him how I feel about it. So yeah, basically I broke down while I was on the phone with my sister after class. After I talked to her about what was going on with the cat, I told her about the whole screw-up with the tickets and just started beating myself up over it. Brittany, Brianna, and I were getting so excited about that weekend and now it's not possible. Then I was worried because I didn't know what to do with those tickets and I didn't know if I'd be able to even see the show at all. That made me feel awful not only because I really want to see it, but also because I want to be there to support everyone. So much effort is put forth, and I especially wanted to see Heather and Nikki's choreography be performed. As a friend, I needed to be there... In the middle of the waterworks, Jenn and Nicole came out and talked to me for a little bit. It calmed me down, which I greatly appreciated. On the walk back to my dorm, I ran into Abbey {my sorority "aunt"}. She asked me if I was okay, so naturally I verged on breakdown again. But she reassured me. She gave me a hug and told me, "You have, family, friends, and God on your side. Something has to work out!" And she was so incredibly right! {If I had realized that to begin with I would have saved myself some mild embarrassment.} I gave her another hug before departing and she said "Keep calm and carry on." I kind of love that :) {It was a quote from the British government back in WWII.} It was just really relieving to be reminded that everything does work itself out. So, upon returning to my dorm, I told Brittany about it, and she completely understood. The first words out of her mouth were, "Don't feel bad because we can't go." Of course I did anyways, but I love that my friends are so understanding. She could have easily been angry or frustrated for my mix-up, but she wasn't at all. I then called my mom and told her, and we indeed worked it out. Her, Johnny, and Jennifer will use the tickets I already purchased, and I bought a ticket for a show the following weekend. I'm still kind of bummed that Brittany and Brianna can't come {because that's the weekend before finals}, but I will definitely be bringing them to Richmond another weekend very soon. As for all of my loves back home, I cannot wait to see all of you. I know this post was one big tangent, and for that I apologize. That was just really stressful for me and I though this might be a good way to work it out of my system. I love you all! Goodnight, and sleep tight :)
Part of Brittany's favorite verse: "God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" {Hebrews 13:5}
I was thinking of how swift and powerful the work of God is. Perhaps that seems a bit vague, but let me explain. When I was writing my testimony, I mentioned my state of being before I became a true follower of Christ. I wasn't sure how to accurately explain it though, so I quoted a blog I wrote via myspace. I had started going to church at the time, but I was not yet a Christian. This is what I wrote:
Sunday, April 26, 2009 Current mood: confused I feel like there's a hole in me; wide open for the whole world to see. I am incomplete, partially empty. My tangible being is now translucent; eyeballs sear through my negative space. Can you find the light at the tunnel's end? This gap in my continuum won't close; not automatically in this present time. For part of me is absent, missing, gone. All I can do is wait for the hole to turn black, engulf my body in its entirity, and unfortunately be consumed with emptiness. I now lack any sort of serenity; clamplacity. The missing presence is not a secret, yet they know not of the havock they reek. Day after day, more and more space; the hole isn't getting any smaller. I crave my past feeling of wholeness; complete, united, at ease.
I was at a point in my life where I let worldly struggles put me in a state of emotional depression. I literally felt like a hollow unit, essentially worthless. Then, technically that very same day, I blogged again after having gone to third service.
Sunday, April 26, 2009 Current mood: enlightened At church today, i received enlightenment. That hole which i felt within my core longs for a presence different from the one i thought. I was so wrapped up in social drama that i failed to realize that i needed something more. Neither words nor tears would have been able to close my hole if my preconceived desire was what would heal me. Quite the contrary, it is God who i need to fill me up; make me complete. If i take it upon myself to fully dedicate myself to him, then i my hole will be but a memory. Thus, it is Him that i long for, and it is He who can fill my translucency.
These were new revelations to me at the time. And it just amazes me that God saw how broken I was and He filled that void almost instantaneously! Sometimes I fail to truly recognize the affect that the Lord can have in us, how drastically He can change us for the better. How He can pull us out of our pitfalls into His light! When we seek Him and reach for Him, He will take us in His arms and mends what is broken. What a beautiful thing, our Father :) So unbelievably incredible :)
I rolled out of bed at approximately 11:30 this morning, and it felt great, haha. After skyping with Elizabeth and getting ready, I went to lunch at D-hall with Brianna and Kim :) Oh! And on the way there we got free teeshirts! That's always fun! Anyways, when we got back, I was literally only in the the room for maybe ten-ish minutes before going to the Outpost with Kim and Brittany to get pink shirts for the game! Yep, today's game was a pink-out for breast cancer awareness! I got to sit with Brittany, Brianna, Kim, Nicole, Taylor, and Leslie :)
{Leslie, Taylor, Nicole, and myself... SAO dove love!}
We all {minus Brianna and Brittany} left during the third quarter to go get dinner at D-hall {again... haha!}. I really enjoyed that :) I suppose I just really love being around friends :) Although I suppose that's a pretty obvious, universal statement. At any rate, Kim and I came back to my room after that, at which point we went through possible class selections for Kim's spring semester, and we watched Pocahontas! I LOVE DISNEY! Bahhhhhh :D But yeah, from there Kim and I just kind of acted crazy for a little while as we conversated with Brittany and Brianna. Then, a little after 10, Kim, Taylor, and I headed over to UREC for some halloween festivities. We didn't dress up or anything though; we got that out of our system last night, haha. But yes, after Kim and I ate pizza and ice cream and talked about various topics, we decided to hit up the room full of inflatables {where I also saw my sisters, Brandi and Hannah}! Oh yes :) We started by playing this thing called the "wrecking ball," where 4 people stand on unstable blow-up platforms and push this wrecking ball at each other to try to knock them off. There was one point where I got totally annihilated thanks to this guy shoving the ball into my face, and another time where I got hit and literally screamed as I fell. Haha! That was quite funny indeed :) Then, I raced Taylor and Kim in the obstacle course, which was surprisingly draining! Somehow I managed to come out at the bottom of the slide face first.... odd considering I slid down on my butt... Haha! From there it was onto the velcro wall! I don't think I need to explain the hilarious epicness of that. Kim, however, was a total beast and flipped onto the wall so that she stuck in an upside down position {even if it wasn't for very long}! We danced for a little bit to G6 before deciding to call it a night. We were quite tired. I really enjoyed basically spending all day with Kim. We're just so crazy all the time, and I know that no matter how ridiculous I make myself look she'll still love me and be seen with me in public :) I love you Kimberly! And now I must shower and hit the sack. I will be going to church tomorrow! Goodnight, sweet loves!
"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." {Job 8:21}
Okay, so despite having to get up early, today was SO GOOD! First class was whatevs. I managed to make it all the way from one side of campus to the other in approximately 12 minutes {crazy!} for the participant pool thing I have to do for PSYC. I found out I got an A on my PSYC exam yesterday! Woop woop! Writing went by pleasantly fast, and then I went to lunch with some of the lovely SAO sisters {Brandi, Hannah, Katie, Ariel, and Ariel's friend Rebecca from home}! We ate yummy Mexican food and it was just an all around fun time :) I got back to class like 10 minutes late, but it's whatevskies. After class, I came back to my room, straightened my hair, did some homework, and got on facebook until 5:50 where I met up with Kim to go meet up with our small group! Dinner was full of laughs as usual, and large group was awesome! The worship set was great! And I really like the message of CJ's sermon :) Then {dun, dun, dun!} it was time for Kim and I to get into our costumes! Oh yes, we rocked the Mario and Luigi look so well! Check it!!!
The IV dance party was SO FUN! Kim and I went crazy, Alyssa and I had a crump-off {where I accidentally kneed her in the crotch... woops!}, and I got to whip my hair back and forth! Yeah, about that... I felt dizzy and disoriented for almost 30 minutes after that, and I don't think that's supposed to happen... At any rate, it was superb! Kim caught some great shots :) {More can be seen on facebook!}
Oh the matrix, hahaha! You get the gist. I had so much fun with my small group and Brittany and Brianna and just everyone! I'm so glad Kim and I dressed up together, too :) It just made things so much more fun! Well, dear friends, I am very sleepy. With that, I bid thee a-due :) I love you!
{Kim took!}
Oh yeah! And Brittany and Brianna were Tweedledee and Tweedledum! SO cute!
{LOVED THAT! (Picture stolen from Brittany)}
"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
Taylor might hate me for this, but I'd thought I'd share this with you all. It's a story we created back in 2004 about a duck named Acquaintance.....
It all started when Acquaintance was born on February 31st , 2004 in the projects (the ghetto to the mhetto)! his mother was Bongquisha Smith and his father was a wigger named Kipp Quacker. Newayz, Acquaintance was the only yellow duck out of his hobo sibblings. And all of his siblings hated him cuz he wasn't pimpin enough, so he became disowned!! Acquaintance hated the suckiest band alive in the whole wide world.. GOOD CHAROLATE!! So, he beat up the stupid twins in the band, and they got their tattoos to cover up the bruises?. Then he moved to the Meadow Farm cool house where he was fed corn by Andrew on October 16, 2004!!!! But, all Acquaintance found was a pile of corn and then, he saw taylor!!! So, he decided to follow her home in hopes of receiving more corn. Now, Acquaintance lives under taylor?s bed and chews on the power lines, and is now seeking revenge on the 70 sum men under taylor's bed? lol!!!!!!!!
Well hey there! I suppose today wasn't too shabby all things considered. I got at at 10:30 and basically spent from then until 1:45 studying for my GCOM and PSYC exams. Thank the Lord for blessing me with awesome short-term recognition memory! I was able to finish my GCOM exam in 30 minutes flat, which gave me a whole hour before my next exam to study. I suppose PSYC wasn't too bad either! However, more questions leaves more room for error. We shall see! I'll keep you all posted :) Once all of that was said and done, I had a wonderful dinner at Duke's with Arijana from my small group :) It was just a lovely time where we discussed all sorts of things and just took it easy. I thoroughly enjoyed it! Then, I came back to the room and poked around for a bit before Daniele and I watch Sleeping Beauty! Ahh! I do love that movie! I'm so glad we watched it because for some odd reason the song "Once Upon a Dream" has been lingering in my head throughout the day. I want to watch it again soon! Who wants to watch it with me?! Haha. No but seriously.... :) Anyways! Since then I've skyped my darling Heather {for almost two hours!} and completed my reading/homework for SOCI and writing. Oh! And I bought the new Taylor Swift on iTunes! Yay! And this song wasn't on iTunes, but I downloaded it offline:
Eeep! I love it! Cheesiness and all! Okay, I'm ready for bed now, I think. It's weird though, I have no idea where my roommate is... I literally haven't seen her for a good two hours or so. She'll come back eventually I suppose! Oh hey, there she is! Goodnight sweet loves! Love you!
And for your viewing pleasure, this legit cockatoo gettin' it's groove on :)
So great!
One of Stephanie's favorite verses:
"5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."
how and why you changed so much...
It makes me sad because I feel like you've fallen into a hole.
And now you're so consumed in self-pity,
that you're failing to do anything productive to climb back out.
I feel like your nature has turned from happiness to bitterness,
and I know others would say the same.
You know it's bad when you lie
for the mere purpose of protecting your own facade.
Well, I see through it now.
I guess you didn't bury the hatchet deep enough.
If things keep up like this
our relationship will never be more than superficial.
It didn't use to be that way,
but then again you never used to be dishonest with me.
Other relationships are harmed as a result of your actions,
but you don't seem to notice that causation.
Things just aren't the same.
You aren't the same.
I miss the old you...
"I'm pretty sure that was me..." Haha! I do love Stephanie Cancro :) She's one of my SAO sisters, and she is one of the sweetest girls ever! We had a lunch date today 1) so I could interview her and 2) just to hang out :) It turns out, she knows where I live... Haha! I know it sounds really creepy, but in reality her cousin just so happens to live in my neighborhood. Small world, eh? And she only lives about 20ish minutes away from me, so we can totes hang out over the summer and whatnot :) Yay! On the way to Carrier and Miller, we saw this dog chasing a squirrel, and the squirrel proceeded to run up the side of Carrier library. Steph and I were totally amazed, haha. I mean call me crazy, but I wasn't aware that squirrels could just climb up the sides of buildings {especially a flat surface like that}. At any rate, one I was done with class, I want to Starbucks to grab a salted caramel hot chocolate and start studying for my PSYC exam. Ehhh... Anyways, on my way out, I ran into Nicole and we went to go pick up packages together. Yep, my button ring {made by Richelle :) } arrived today!
Woop woop! Well, since then I've studied, gone to a group advising meeting, eaten dinner at Duke's with Brianna and Brittany, and studied some more. Now I am about to go shower and get some sleep. Please be praying that my exams go well tomorrow! I have two and the classes are back-to-back :( And the second exam {PSYC} counts for a third of my overall grade! Ahhhh! STRESSstressSTRESS! I love you all! I hope you are more relaxed than I am right now....
Brittany's other favorite verse: "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." {Colossians 3:17}
I really need to be better at maintaining my pre-set time management on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I know I say this all the time, but it's true! I meant to finish my SOCI homework by 12, and then have my writing homework done before 1:15ish. Yeah, that didn't happen. I finished my SOCI homework, but I got less than half of the writing assignment done. Thank you SVU for being so gosh-durn interesting! At any rate, I didn't leave my room until after 1:30, and so I had to speed-eat my lunch and rush on over to GCOM. We reviewed the whole time for the exam on Thursday, which I am really nervous about. It doesn't help that I have a PSYYC exam literally right after GCOM. There's only 15 minutes between the two classes, so right now I'm basically cramming for both. It kind of sucks, and I'm kind of stressed. I just finished reading over all of my GCOM notes and flipping through The Essential Guide to Rhetoric {which is where a majority of the material is coming from}. Please pray that I will do well! Ehhh. AnxiousAnxiousAnxious!!!
One of Brittany's favorite verses: "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" {Romans 8:31}
Hello all! Today was pretty average I'd say. I had a minor fail this morning when I made myself a delicious cup of Tazo tea and then forgot to take it with me when I left my room (ugh!), but never fret! I drank the luke-warm chamomile when I got back! Don't judge me; I don't like to be wasteful, haha! Anyways, I got lunch with Taylor Hudson today {from SAO}, and it was a lovely time indeed. We got to talk about a little bit about our relationships with our families and also about how impacting the testimonies of others are. I really love meaningful conversations, ones where you can share something about you or your life without necessarily turning into an emotional wreck. It can be refreshing and almost therapeutic to just say what's on your mind and be real with someone--whether it be a family member, acquaintance, or a friend. Small talk can be nice, but those aren't really the types of conversations that are remembered are they? But anyways! That was a fun time :) From there I pit-stopped by the library to see when I can register for spring classes {November 10, 12:30 PM} before going to government. I didn't do so well on my iRAT, but on the plus side our team got a 100 on the tRAT! Anyways, I came back to the room after that to finish taking notes for PSYC, took a 15ish minute nap, and then went to small group! Can I just say how much I love my small group? Haha, there was one point where literally every person in D-hall was staring at our table {no literally I checked}! It all started with a funny noise/face made my Melissa, then Kim started laughing and turned completely red, then Kaci was laughing at Kim's face, and at that point I was already laughing at Kim but Kaci's laugh jsut made everyone else laugh and yeah... It was legit :) Our eyeballs leaked... a lot. Then, before we started out Bible study, we played this game called "pterodactyl." Yeah, you have to either squawk or say "pterodactyl" to the person next to you to try to make them laugh, but you can't show your teeth. The moment you do, you're out. It was so funny! I made it to the final two, but Ryan beat me. At any rate, we studied Galatians chapter 4, and it really confused me until I read it in The Message. But once I understood it, I really loved the message behind it. There are always going to be people in our lives that want to control us and make us think that we are dependent on them. But should we give in to this method of thinking, we lose sight of the fact that we are to depend on God and that His law is far superior to that which is created by man. Also, as children of the Lord, we are given His inheritance! We are His seeds and His heirs! Ahh! No longer are we deprived of freedom like a slave, for we were not born into slavery. We were born into freedom as God's sons and daughters, and it's all because of Jesus! Praise be to Him!
"17Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you from us, so that you may be zealous for them. 18It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always and not just when I am with you." {Galatians 4:17-18}
"4But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law,5to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.6Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba,Father."7So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir." {Galatians 4:4-7}
Upon returning to my dorm, I decided to plan out all of my classes for next semester {talk about frustration!}. I spent hours trying to find a way to make my classes work while also finding professors with good ratings. This process took so long because everyone and their cousin was on "rate my professor," thus making it extremely slow. {And, as the title of this post suggests, there is not an appropriate Portuguese class available for me to take.} However, I think I finally have a schedule concept that works. In addition to Ethical Reasoning {which I'm pre-registered for}, I plan to take PSYC 101 {self-explanatory}, Health, Religions of the World, and Sign Language! I'm not gonna lie, the thought of learning sign language kind of make me excited, haha! I just wish that it wasn't at 9:05 on east campus... Oh well! Whining shall get me nowhere! I am very sleepy now, so I shall take my leave. Goodnight my loves!
This doesn't make much sense Think far out but I'm still locked in I'm still lost, walking circles The floor swallowed me up whole There's no where to go
There's a vulture on my shoulder And he's telling me to give in Always hissing right in my ear Like it's coming from my own head It's got me mixed up, trying not to give up Tell me there's a way to get out of here Oh, fixed at zero
I've learned to talk with my fingers The only that voice that wakes my ears Oh make my bones do something Ever wanna jump out your skin Anticipate until the sidewalk ends There's no where to go
There's a vulture on my shoulder And he's telling me to give in Always hissing right in my ear Like it's coming from my own head It's got me mixed up, trying not to give up Tell me there's a way to get out of here Oh, fixed at zero
There's a vulture on my shoulder And he's telling me to give in Always hissing right in my ear Like it's coming from my own head It's got me mixed up, trying not to give up Tell me there's a way to get out of here Oh, fixed at zero
My alarm woke me up at 7:30 this morning after having gone to bed at approximately 4 AM. Needless to say, my body was not diggin' the sleep deprivation. Thus, I informed Brittany and Brianna that I would not be attending church this morning and got right back into bed. I did feel bad about missing church. But as badly as I wanted to sing my guts out and give praise to Jesus, my body just not up to par. I needed more than almost four hours of sleep, so I slept until 11 for sanity's sake. I finished typing up my testimony before going to lunch with Brianna, Brittany, and Andrea all the way at E-hall. It was delicious, but I ate way more food then a person should in one sitting. I won't go into much detail for your sake, but let's just say I had three plates to carry up to the dish return... Anyways! I completed my SOCI homework upon returning to my dorm, and my the time that was all said and done it was time for my candidate class. I was more than a tad nervous upon my arrival at this meeting; I'm not going to lie. Today, we were to share our testimonies, and that's something I've never done before. A million worries littered my mind. What if mine's too personal? Am I going to be the only person who cries while I'm saying mine (because I know I will)? Should I leave out some of the heavier things? Is this accurately portraying my relationship and experiences with God?... The list went on and on. It is truly amazing, though, the intimacy that results from vulnerability. In that room today, we shared things with each other that were emotional, personal, and difficult to discuss. Sometimes it seems like no one else in this world can share in your struggles and your heartache {at least in the same form}. That may be true, but as individual as your burdens are, the same can be said for your neighbor. The person directly beside you may have overcome inconceivable hurdles, and you may never realize it without taking the opportunity to learn and listen. These girls, my sisters, are such strong women. Each of them have encountered aspects of their life that left them broken {as I too have been broken}, and by the glory of God we continue to rise up against incredible odds and praise our Father in Heaven! After all, His desire is to heal us of our pain and lead us to His kingdom. I know how easy it is to lose sight of love and support that is freely given to us, but I also know how insurmountable life can be when we refuse to take God's hand and allow Him to take control. It is only through Him that we can truly grow and prosper! We are His creation and we are made in his likeness! Let's make Him proud, shall we?
{This might be a severe shift in mood, but...}
One of my friends mentioned this verse in her testimony this evening, and the truth of it really hit me. Just reading it is frightening in a way, but I know that fear has no place in the presence of God. And if I am His temple, than fear shall not reside in me if I can prevent it. Just the same, I thought I'd share it so that it could resonate with you.
"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." {James 2:19}
We are called to do so much more than merely recognize His existence. We are called to be servants of the Lord and disciples of all nations! Acknowledgement isn't enough... And with that knowledge we must live by Him, for Him, and through Him--never losing sight of the fact the we were made to love Him and model the life of Christ. It's a bold task, dear friends, but that's part of the reason we have each other :) God gave us fellowship and community! And everything has a purpose, does it not?
Today was AWESOME! I woke up at 12 {since I didn't go to sleep until 3}, and that felt divine :) I do love sleep; I do indeed! Then, around 1:30, I went to lunch with Kim at D-hall. We ate yummy food and discussed life. I love talking to my little Kimberly :) We just kind of get each other, and I never have to worry about her judging me or anything. It's comforting, you know? From there, we decided to go to Walmart to get our Halloween costumes! They're going to be epic. But we're keeping it on the down-low because it needs to be a surprise for our small group at the IV dance party next week! Woop woop! Once I put my stuff in my room, I met up with Kristina Elliot for some dinner. I got nachos instead of a salad, and I didn't even care because they were delicious gosh darn it! Haha. Anyways, I meant to be productive in the time after dinner and before the IV dance party, but that was a fail {as you probably could have guessed}. At any rate... I AM SO GLAD I WENT TO THE PARTY! We were all dancing like crazy people and enjoying some Jolt energy drink in the process! Kim and I in particular had an amazing time dancing and flailing {and in my case hair swinging and head-banging, haha!}. Kimberly took some legit pictures, and she deserves all the photo cred!
{JOLT!}
{The rest can be seen on facebook!}
Who needs alcohol?! Not us! I am so stoked for next week! Eeeeep! Anyways, I've been working on my testimony tonight, and it's more difficult than I thought. It's not that I can't describe my process of coming to Christ, but I just want to say it right if that makes sense. I have to read it out loud tomorrow at my SAO candidate class, so please be praying that it goes well. Like I said, I'm rather nervous...
On the way out of my dorm tonight, I was approached by these two brothers who weren't representing any church or organization, but were trying to spread the Gospel. They asked if I wouldn't mind answering a thought-provoking question; I said yes. They asked, "If you were to die tonight, and you were standing at the feet of God, what would you say if God asked you why you deserved to go to Haven?" Intense question, right? This is the answer I gave them: "Honestly, I've done nothing to deserve eternal life; none of us have. I know that I sin, and that I do so every day. The only reason I even have the possibility of obtaining eternal life is because of Jesus's sacrifice and God's love, grace, and mercy." And once I said that, a chord was kind of struck, because I realized just how true it was. I don't deserve to live in Heaven. I'm not entitled to spend an eternity with my Father. He is so Holy, and I am a wretch. And yet, He shows us more love than any human being could ever fathom. He sacrificed his Son for us. He pulls His children into His arms despite the fact that we are constantly slapping Him in the face with our sin! I am so thankful to have a Father that will never leave me or forsake me. His love is unconditional and unending, and it is given to us freely! No strings attached! It's just so crazy, and so incredibly humbling. Thank You Father! For everything You do for me even when I fail to do everything for You. I hope to one day to truly stand in your presence :)
"To the end thatmyglory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever." {Psalm 30:12}
"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name." {Psalm 100:4}
"Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever." {Psalm 107:1}
"But I will sacrifice to You
With the voice of thanksgiving;
I will pay what I have vowed.
Salvation is of the LORD.” {Jonah 2:9}
Goodnight sweet loves! You are truly a blessing :)
"It's because her heart's cold and it's spreading." Thanks a lot Brittany! I knew you were the mean twin! Hahaha. I'm not gonna lie though, the snippy sarcasm humors me :)
Okay! So today was pretty awesome. I got to sleep in an extra two hours because we did a discussion board instead of having to go to class! I was able to slowly get myself awake and ready for the day before going to my writing class, which wasn't bad at all. Then I met up with Brianna at D-hall for a delicious lunch complete with yummy froyo. I then made a pit-stop by Starbucks on my way to government, and I ran into Ariel, Leslie, Christa, and Brittany from SAO :) That was lovely! Government was easy to get through, and I spent a good chunk of time in Brianna and Brittany's room once I got back to the dorm. Brittany and I picked out classes to take next semester. That eventually turned into a youtube video escapade, haha. {Shocker, I know.} The three of us trekked over to east campus to meet up with our small groups for dinner around 6, at which point we went our separate ways. I requested an application for IV's justice team tonight! Eeeep! Please be praying that Brittany, Brianna, and I will be picked! We want too so badly. Brittany and I had an hour to kill before our small group would be back on the ISAT steps for the scavenger hunt, so we wandered for a bit before we eventually ended up outside. Yeah, a word of advice, don't climb the statues.... Some man who works in ISAT saw me try and almost took down my JAC card number.... Luckily he let me off with a warning. Guess I won't be doing THAT again. Oh well. The scavenger hunt started at 10, and it was definitely a fun time! We answered trivia questions, made a human pyramid, untied our human knot, spelled out JMU with our bodies, and Melissa, Kaci, and I even sang the Bed Intruder song! Hahaha! We didn't actually complete all of the tasks {because another group had already won essentially}, but we got spider rings as a consultation prize! Teehee, mine's purple :) At any rate, Brianna, Brittany, myself, and some girls from Brittany's small group went to the Dog pound after all of that to get some food and hot beverages. I got a nice steamy cinnamon bun and some hot apple cider! It was SO good! After returning to Eagle and thawing out a bit, the twins and I decided to watch Aladdin. However, we were all about ready to pass out, so we turned it off after the "Prince Ali" song. That was my cue to shower, get ready for bed, and type up this blog! I am rather tired now, so I suppose I shall take my leave. I love you all!
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW AND LOVE ELIZABETH SEWARD, WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Jenn's other favorite verse:
"A happy heart makes the face cheerful,
but heartache crushes the spirit."
Haha, Stephanie {one of my SAO sisters} could not even believe that! She literally burst into hysteric laughter and giddiness. That made me happy :) I just like seeing people happy and excited! I also taught her awkward squid, awkward palm tree, and awkward octopus :) It was a fun time.
Today was pretty swell. Classes were painless, I was able to complete my two writing assignments and my discussion board, and I got to spend some quality time with my sorority sisters {technically soon to be sisters}. I got to interview Jenn today, and we had a big SAO dinner tonight at Madison Grill :) It was so nice to be able to hang out with so many of the girls at once. It made the night both fun and entertaining :) Whether it was taking silly pictures, sharing "awkwards," or just laughing at ridiculous stories, everyone seemed to be in a good mood and in high spirits. That kind of thing is contagious, you know. And I'm so glad that I went because it definitely soothed much of the stress and anxiety I had been feeling since last night. I don't know what it is about fellowship that can completely uplift your mood, but I do know it's by the work of God! And He blessed me with a lovely community of sisters :) {Thank You for that!} I do love those girls!
On a separate note, I have no idea what I'm going to be for Halloween! Ugh! If you have any suggestions, please send them my way! Goodnight my sweet loves!
One of Jenn's favorite verses:
"5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight"
This blog is going to be incredibly short because I am tired and I have so much work I need to do it but my eyes are all heavy and I am slightly overwhelmed....
Yeah, that run-on sentence right there accurately depicts how I feel inside :( I just want it to be Friday! I just hate that I have so much to do! This stupid "credible sources" thing for writing, a reader response paper for writing, chapter 10 notes for PSYC, a discussion board for SOCI, and the last Tech Level 1 test for GCOM. I want to bang my head against the wall until I'm asleep and won't care about this anymore.
I don't like stress...
"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." {Exodus 33:14}
and it's hard to think about anything else. Whenever I'm getting to know someone, my brother always seems to come up. It's not a bad thing, I just don't know whether or not I should say anything because I don't want to make light conversation turn heavy. Needless to say, Matt is very much on my mind right now, and I'm wishing I could talk to him, hug him, or something...
I didn't mean for this post to be depressing--my sincerest apologies. I'll do a quick synopsis of today's events. I did reading for GCOM until 1, at which point I thought my brain would implode. I then got dressed and went to get some lunch before class at 2. All of that reading and it turns out there was no quiz. I'm not complaining; I just wish I had known that in advance. Once again, I had to fight off my body's urge to sleep, but this time it was during my PSYC class. I'm used to it in the mornings, but not 3:30 in the afternoon. I'm starting to wonder is something is wrong with me, because I seriously cannot keep my eyes open. When I try everything gets kind of blurry and head starts to loll and it's just weird. But sometimes there will be an out-of-place noise or something that snaps me back into being awake and attentive. It really is the strangest thing ever. Anyways, once class was done, I went on a Kline's ice cream date with my SAO family {Ariel, Abbey, Kelly, and Sarah}! I'm so glad we all finally got to get together! The only times I've seen Kelly and Sarah have been in passing, so it was nice to actually be able to talk to them and get to know them a little better :) Unfortunately, I had to go to another government movie tonight, but it was cool because I got to talk to/sit by Kirsten {another SAO candidate}. So I got to know her a little better too! When I finally got back on campus, it was time to grab dinner. Yeah, I had dinner at like 9:30, kind of a fail. But hey, what can you do? I actually ate in Brittany and Brianna's room so that I could talk to them and see how their days went. I hadn't seen them at all today before that point, so I felt that dropping by was essential. Since I departed from their room, I have done my homework for tomorrow and I am now ready for bed. Goodnight my dear loves!
Beth's other favorite verse: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." {Deuteronomy 31:6}
swirl around in my brain over the course of a day, and I only wish I could retain the initial spark that made me want to blog about them in the first place. But over the course of time, homework, and stress the inspiration has waned... It really is a pity. But I think I'll give a shot anyhow.
God's timing is never a coincidence. It is always perfect and intentional. I will often credit the appearance of opportunities to luck or an accidental stumble-upon, but the truth is that our Father knew that these things would take place; and He knew that I would be here in this very place and time to embrace and experience these opportunities. My Father knows what's best for me. He knows not only the direction I will take in life, but also the course in which He wants me to take. That's kind of a scary thought, isn't it? God has things in this life that He wants us to do, but He also knows if and when we will mess it all up. {Thank you, free will.} But it's marvelous to know that we are loved no matter how awful our state. Praise and thanks be to God for grace, mercy, and salvation through His son Jesus Christ :)
"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to theplanof him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will..."
{Ephesians 1:11}
"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."
{Psalm 33:11}
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
{Jeremiah 29:11}
The other night, when watching the end of the Exorcism of Emily Rose, I was reminded of a question that has lingered in my brain before. The question involves a lot of "what ifs" and circumstantial inquiries, but my solution is generally always the same. Would I sacrifice myself if it benefitted the lives of others? When I say "myself," that doesn't necessarily mean my life; it can include/encompass my health, well-being, or potential gain. In the movie, Emily hears the voice of Mary, and she gives Emily two options. One is to be freed from her human body and be free in the peace and glory of Heaven. The other option is to remain in her human body until its natural death and continue to suffer the torture of being invaded by the six demons that inhabited it, but by doing so others would come to Christ and be saved. Her choice was to remain on earth. She suffered so that others would come to know God. I'd like to think I'd do the same. I know it's easier to say than if you were really in such a situation, but looking at it logically brought me to that conclusion. I would rather have others reap the benefits of salvation than obtain my own personal satisfaction. Even on a smaller scale, I would gladly give up anything I could to ensure that someone else could prosper and be happy. I would rather bear burdens and struggles than have my friends overwhelmed by them, and I would rather endure pain and suffering than to watch others go through it... And that is that.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." {John 15:13}
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers [and sisters]." {1 John 3:16}
There are certain people in my life that I hope to remain there forever. I sometimes wonder if they feel the same way, or if one day our relationship will be a distant memory. That may seem silly to think about, but how often does that happen? How many times has that already taken place in our lives? I don't wish for anyone to go anywhere. And more than anything I want us to stay as close as we are now. That is one of my biggest prayers, that nothing will be lost or diminished. I love you all too much for that! You have helped shaped who I am as a person and you make my life one full of joy and love :) I know I've said this before, but I can never thank you all enough for everything you've done in my life. You are my biggest inspiration, and my most beloved treasure. Goodnight, my dear loves :)
And on a rather random note, I really love this song :) I used to be obsessed with it back in middle school.
I greeted the world at 8 AM today so that I could meet my dad at Einstein's at 9. Yay for sleep deprivation... We finished up at around 10:15, so I decided to go get the things I needed from Walmart before heading over to church. Mistake. I waited in line for probably 15 minutes. I won't say anything further in regards to why I had to wait that long, because it could come out sounding rash. Let's just say that my mood went from impatient, to agitated, to even more impatient, to frustrated, to border-line anger. By the time I finally got out of there, it was almost 11, and I had hoped to already by at church by that time so that I could socialize with my dear WEAG family. I still got to see and hug everyone, though, so I can only complain but so much. I loved being back in my home {and by that I of course mean the church}. Sitting in the front row with beloved friends all around, awesome worship, and the comforting feeling of familiarity in everything. Having to leave all of that today was almost as hard as when I left in August. I had to leave early, and there was no time to get lunch with anyone or anything of that sort. The people I care about more than anything else in this world were all there, and I had to leave it all. Good thing emotional farewells are my specialty... As a dear friend stated, "goodbyes don't get any easier." She's right, they don't. When I came back home, everything felt right in the world. Everything was as it used to be just a few months ago. Late nights at my darling Elizabeth's house, late night/early morning Waffle House trips {my little Kathyn, Kim, Jesse, Carlton, Destry, Julie, Eric}; Sweet Frog and Teavana endeavors with my beloved Heather; dinner dates with my lovely {should be older sister} Nikki; film watching and nom nom splendor with my lovely Kelly, Elsbeth, and Heather; little sleep; and church, where my whole family is united in one home. I tried so hard to not let my emotions get the best of me, but my eyes failed me as usual with their leakage. I fought it back on the drive home, and it was completely masked for the car ride back here with my dad. It's not that I'm sad to be back at JMU, it's just not the same, at least not yet. But I want to thank you for your friendship, for loving me at my best and my worst. I know sometimes I'm an utter train wreck, and sometimes maybe a tad irrational. But I'm blessed in that you all still love me no matter what, and I can't imagine going through this life without any single one of you. I love you all so incredibly much! I shall see you again in 34 days. Hopefully the time will fly! Sweet dreams, my loves.
One of Beth's favorite scripture pieces: 1O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
I'm Stephanie. I love everyone, and everyday I am amazed by the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I have an amazing family of friends that I share my life experiences with, and I have a crazy culmination of thoughts that clutter my cranium. I have passions and dreams, opinions and questions. I blog to share these things with others, and for my own personal relief at times. My hope is that someone, somewhere, is interested enough to read about it. If not, that's okay too :) I just enjoy the opportunity to set my thoughts free!
