Steph was here... both of us!!!

Hi, this is Stephanie. I've taken over Stephanie's blog temporarily! I'm in Carrier (surprise!). I'm supposed to be studying for a test... Oops!!! Now back over to Steph:

Well, today's been alright! I was done with class by 11, and I was even able to take a 2-hour nap! PRAISE! I hadn't taken a legit nap in what felt like forever. I spent a decent chunk of today in Carrier as per usual with Taylor, Hannah, and Steph :) I got dinner with Brandi, which made me very happy :) Also, tonight was SAO game night! Twas a lot of fun! We played signs, psychiatrist, and a game called alibi that is kind of like mafia only ten times as crazy! Or maybe it's only that way when we play it..... Haha, who knows?! And now I'm back at Carrier with Taylor and Steph. I don't have any work per-se thats due tomorrow, but I've been looking into classes for next semester and I think I might work on my applications for the WEAG family life internship. I only have 3 questions left to do! Woop woop!

Miscellaneous points:

• I think I'm going to VCU for grad school.
• I wish I didn't have to take a science.
• Taylor just introduced Stephanie and I to her best friend via skype, and she referred to her as being the "equivalent to my Heather." Hahaha, SO GREAT!
• I really have no business being in the library right now; I just like socializing :)
• SAO needs to have a social where we play Silent Library in Carrier :D
• Please notice Steph and I's squinty left eyes in that picture... Haha!
• I wish my hair was back to Rapunzel status already.
• Steph and I found the Asian version of Ke$ha...

On second thought, maybe I'll finish the internship application this weekend.... Bahh! I realize this post was super random, but I hope you all don't mind :) I love you all! Goodnight!

Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold, black and gold...

David (De Raw) was on the news tonight!

Ahhhh! I am so excited for him :) Please do not judge my creeper-ish screenshot, haha! And for those of you who have not heard his song, check it!


So yeah, today was a little rough, or the class part was anyways. I fell asleep in psyc (woops), and I had a test in health. However, I got to see some lovely friends/sisters, so that was nice. After health, Megan and I got to visit our service location for Justice Team's kingdom living project. Joy of Life is a ministry started by this lovely woman named Twyla. She has taken in several kids who slipped through the cracks of adoption, some of whom have special needs. Although she cannot legally adopt them, she has done what she calls "heart adoption," giving them a place to live, play, learn life skills, and get an education. I'm excited to start working there with small groups. There is so much that needs to be done, and I hope that God will use us to really bless Twyla and her family. Her little girl, Lexie, is so cute and sassy :) She is 9 years old, and she really is a riot. When Twyla asked Lexie what her needs were, she said a big sister. I know that Megan and I aren't going to be there every day, but I hope that we can be sister-like figures for her. And I know they are wanting some good male role models for the boys there, so I'm excited to see relationships forge between them and our boy small groups. This is going to be great, I can tell :) Since getting back from there, I've just been doing a short writing assignment and skyping Heather :) I am now ready to head back to Eagle. Goodnight my loves! Sleep well :)

Day full of distractions.

Classes were fine; I only fell asleep in one of them. The rest of my day was spent in the library (and a break for small group). Too bad I got really distracted by facebook, Taylor, Hannah, Isaac, Christa, Stephanie, Nicole, SAO group chat, and skype. Yes, Stephanie and I did absolutely no work for several hours because we were skyping each other....

(Yes, we were sitting right next to each other. Haha!) Then, after we skype-chatted Courtney and group chatted a bunch of SAO girls, Steph and I skyped with Hannah and Brandi...

Do I have a test tomorrow? Yes. Was I productive today? Not at all.  Was it worth it? I think yes :)

Love you all! Goodnight!

"Your sorority is SO sassy!"

Why yes Daniel, we are. Haha!

{Photo cred: Lauren}

(I'll post more pictures later.)

So, this weekend was my retreat with my lovely SAO sisters. I had such an amazing time :) Devotionals, testimonies, worship around the campfire, hair braiding, fishbowl, psychiatrist, eating (a lot), late night conversations in the kitchen/pantry.... All of it just filled my heart with joy :) I know that I literally say this all the time, but I love my sisters. SO MUCH! They have become such an integral part of my life, and they've taught me so much, even in this short time. I want to spread that love that I have with them to people everywhere, specifically new friends that I have recently met or will meet in the future. The theme of this weekend was "Fishers of Men."

"And He said to them, 'Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.'"

{Matthew 4:19}

I know this is discussed rather often in the church--spreading the gospel and bringing others to know Christ. However, I've never really told myself, "Stephanie, you need to strive to bring this person to know God." That is something I challenged myself to this weekend. And even though it seems to be an impossible feat, I want to try to bring my father and younger sister into a relationship with the Lord. Even typing that out makes me anxious, you all. It's going to be difficult, but I think it is important for me to do. This retreat really placed that realization on my heart, and I'm glad for it. How can I try to communicate God's word to others if I'm too scared to do it with my own family members? Hold me accountable, please, and be praying for me as well. I think I can! I think I can!


Upon my return from Lake Anna (where the retreat was), Stephanie and I headed over to Carrier, which is where I stayed until 2. Now I am sitting in the Eagle study lounge and am about to go get ready for bed. I love you all, sweet loves! Goodnight.

If there is one pitfall to social networking

it is that nobody feels the need to tell you things in person. It's one thing when physically addressing someone isn't possible. It's another thing when you are perfectly capable of telling someone what's going on and you just don't. I am coming to despise finding things out on blogs and wall posts and e-mails that I feel like I deserved the courtesy to hear straight from the person's mouth. It hurts, and it probably affects me more than it should, but there's nothing I can really do about that. I just want my friends to be real with me! Tell me what you're going through and respect my feelings enough to do it in a personal fashion! Please!


Maybe Stephanie's right. Maybe this week has left me emotionally drained....

I don't want this post to be a total downer, so I will mention my highlights. I was able to get lunch with my beautiful sister, Courtney, and it honestly made my day. She's just like a little beam of sunshine in my life, and I love her so much :) I also got to see Hannah for a while. And although our bank endeavor was a fail, I'm really glad I got to spend time with her. She always makes my heart a little happier :) Then, later tonight, I got to see and hug my darling Brandi, which was a very lovely and unexpected surprise. Even later, Stephanie came by Carrier to bring me my duffle bag. She's just so great, I don't even know how else to say it. I love her so much. Her hugs make me feel so much better. It's not even that I was in a down or bad mood, I am just seriously on space-cadet status right now. I really think I just need to get away, which is why I am so excited for retreat this weekend...

Yes, dear loves, this will be my last post until sunday night. I am excited to say that I will be spending the weekend with these lovely ladies:

Well, most of them... I just really hope that God will bless this time so that we may grow closer to Him as well as to each other. These girls are such a blessing in my life, and I know that this weekend will be glorious. ΣΑΩ ♥

I hope you all enjoy your weekends! I love you!

Dunzo.

I've been running on two hours of sleep all day..... bear with me, please.

My exam this morning wasn't too bad, I'm hoping I come away with at least a B. Once classes were done, Stephanie and I hit the road for Richmond. As we both noted, it was so weird to be walking around in Short Pump on a random wednesday when we're usually at school. Two two of us met up with my darling Heather at Sweet frog for some froyo before venturing over to Teavana and Urban. Twas a lovely time, I loved being with those two. It felt like it had been forever since I'd hugged Heather, and I'm so glad I got to. From the mall I headed over to my sister's house to go to the viewing..... (I'll come back to that.)

The "viewing" wasn't anything like what the word suggests. I walked in to find framed pictures everywhere, stacks of photo albums, cheering uniforms hanging, trophies scattered, and flowers all around the room. It was all one big testament to the work, love, and dedication Hilda had for all of us. I saw so many girls I haven't seen in years, and it was seriously one of the craziest reunions ever. None of it was strange, because we were all there for Hilda. Just like she was dedicated to us, we are dedicated to her. I saw a girl I used to dance with, and she hadn't cheered for Hilda in over 6 years. There were girls all over the room in their uniforms, many more girls and adults in Cheer Factory shirts/colors. Being there was kind of like being in a hall of fame. It was really uplifting and I'm so happy I went.

I only shed a few tears while I was there, nothing too crazy. But here is where the "I'll come back to that" comes in. Long story short, my older sister was really rude to me while I was on my way to her house, and my mom didn't seemed really interested in paying respects (at least not tonight). For whatever reason, both of those things really hurt me (my sister more-so, because her attitude also implied a skewed order of priorities). I couldn't sit there and talk to my mom anymore, so I decided to go to my dad's. He had no idea I was even in Richmond, and he also had no idea that Hilda passed. I was telling him about everything when I just started crying and he hugged me. Some things just don't make sense to me. I won't go into detail on here, but I want to take this moment to address any of my SAO sisters that may be reading this:

I am so appreciative of you all. I can't even begin to adequately express that to you. You all show more love and concern for me than my own biological sister. The level that you care about me warms my heart immensely, and while I was breaking down tonight, it was you all that I wished I could have been with. Thank you for being sisters to me, and thank you for calling me sister. I am so blessed to have you all in my life.

My apologies for the abrupt shift in tone, but I am now done with my psyc quiz and it's time to leave Carrier. I love you all so much! Goodnight.

My hand is in physical pain.

This is why:

Yeah, this literature exam might just really suck. I mean, I'm glad I get to use a cheat sheet, but still! It took me forever to write all of that, and I wasn't even really distracted at the library; Stephanie and Taylor will attest to that. Even though it's almost 3:30, I am sitting in the Eagle study lounge continuing to read over things. On the bright side, the exam will be over with in less than 7 hours. PRAISE!

In other news, I decided to rep Hildy today in my pink and green :)

I even wore the zebra-print Cheer Factory sports bra, haha! Sorry if that was too much information...

I told my mom that I was going to the viewing tomorrow. Even though I'm pretty sure she wishes I wouldn't go, she was reasonably calm when I told her. I was thankful for that, because I seriously thought I was going to have to come home without her knowing. But all is well, and my beloved Stephanie will be taking me home tomorrow, bless her heart. Her kindness seriously overwhelms me sometimes; she really is a blessing in my life :) And (without my knowing, of course) she even bought me Starbucks to help get me through this long and stressful night. It's the little things :)

{Photo cred: Hannah!}

I love you Steph!

Also, I'm so happy I got to see Hannah, Jenn, Courtney, Rachel, and both Nicole's today. My sisters are so caring; it's such a comfort.

P.S.- HANNAH GOT A BLOG! Follow it!!!!

Goodnight my loves!

"Oh my gosh I know the lyrics..."

You will die laughing at this! Well, at least Taylor and I did. (Please excuse the profanity.)


On a separate note, tonight is another Carrier night. After being very distracted and getting in a Starbucks war (which I won) with Stephanie, I finally started studying for my literature exam. We get to use a reference sheet. This is what mine looks like so far:

Yeah, hopefully this will help me out once I'm done. And yes, I can read what I wrote, haha. I shared my testimony tonight at small group, and my eyes only leaked a little bit. I'm making progress, dear friends. Also, Stephanie (out of the unbelievable sweetness and kindness of her heart) has offered to take me home for Wednesday evening to go to Hilda's viewing. My mom doesn't think I should go (because she wants my last memory of Hilda to not be her in a casket), but I feel like I need to be there. I'm not sure if I should tell her I'm going though.... It's something I've really been contemplating, and I have less than 48 hours to make up my mind. We shall see, we shall see... I have not been able to stop thinking about Hilda and my cheering/dance experiences with her these past few days. Seemingly insignificant scenes keep replaying in my head, and the more I think about it the more I miss her. But you know, I've also been able to think about all of the really great and happy memories, which I am so grateful for.

"Stephanie, you have the worst jumps in America!" -Hildy
(It was SO true, haha. It didn't help that she put me right in the front and center between two of the best jumpers in the gym... I may or may or may not have given her grief for that...)

Hilda: "...Because what is second place?"
Youth team (in unison): "The first place loser!"
(Haha. She instilled us with such great insight!)



I think this was the proudest Hilda ever was of our Senior 4 team that year. We got 1st place at our biggest competition of the year, and she told us that we had never done the routine as well as we did that day. I'm so glad we were able to make you proud, Hilda, and your girls will continue to do so!


Just please keep praying for her family and all of her present/former cheerleaders, especially this week. I love you all! Goodnight :)

The upcoming week

is doomed to be one straight out of of H-E-double hockey sticks. I seriously feel so overwhelmed right now I can hardly stand it.

First of all, I have an exam tomorrow that is all essay. I didn't get to start studying for it until tonight, and I am not good at hand-written essays.... like at all. Then, I have a 4-5 page literature paper due on Tuesday, and it is certainly not my best work, but I am beyond the point of caring right now. Then, on Wednesday, I have ANOTHER all-essay exam in my literature class, which is going to be extremely hard. I already have a B in that class, and this week is not going to help me out AT ALL. I still need to call Sweet Frog since they failed to call me last Wednesday. I need to pan out the issues with my kingdom living placement for Justice Team, and I have to not forget to send info out to SAO alum and inactive sisters. Oh, and I have to have another book read for my literature class by Monday. God, I need your strength. I seriously just want to sob. Lord, just please get me to Friday so that I can enjoy a weekend with my sisters and get away from all of this stress! Please, please, please....

Quad day pictures!

I love my sisters :)

{Photography by Hannah Harrison, Stephanie Cancro, Taylor Hudson, and Brandi Suarez}

Hilda McDaniel

Approximately 40 years ago, she brought all-star cheerleading to America. She dedicated her life to coaching, and she left behind a legacgy. She touched the lives of every single person she taught. What she established is monumental, but her effect on the lives of those who loved her is what will be remembered forever. Hilda is the reason I became a cheerleader, and it was with her that I became a dancer. I was with her at the age of 4....

...and the 12 years that followed (from USA, to UCC, to Cheer Factory)...

Hilda, you were such an amazing woman, and an incredible inspiration. What you've done for so many will never be forgotten. You impacted my life tremendously, and even though I haven't told you for quite some time, I love you so much. Thank you. For everything. You will be so missed...

I secretly really like this video.

Well, I guess it's not really much of a secret anymore :)

Rebecca Black, you should have taken some tips from this girl.

Quad day, quad day, hanging out on the quad day....

Today was AMAZING! Never mind that I probably bombed my world religions test, the weather was GORGEOUS! My 9:05 class was even held on the quad. I spent from 12-6 on the quad with my beloved sisters, and I wouldn't have had it any other way :) They make me so happy, all the time. Whether we're singing loudly, tackling each other, taking ridiculous (and numerous) pictures, taking Starbucks shifts, "tanning," or trying to play with puppies, everything just makes me feel grand :) I've been looking forward to today all week. I told myself that even if I had a lot of work to do, I was going to allow myself this time to just relax and have fun. That's something I hardly ever do for myself, and I'm really glad that I got to do it today :) Around 6, Hannah, Steph, and I went to dinner together before Steph dropped Hannah and I off for large group (at which we were later joined by Brandi and Alex). After large group, Hannah, Brandi, and I decided we wanted to watch Burlesque, so I went to go get it from my room. Well.... it was pouring. Seriously, I had to ditch my sandals and just go the whole way barefoot, haha. It's okay though, because the I was dancing to Ke$ha the whole time. I mean, if you're stuck in the rain, you should at least have fun with it :) I changed out of my soaked jeans and into some shorts for the walk back over to east campus, still barefoot and, like a child, jumping in every puddle I came across, haha. Unfortunately, I think I may be developing blisters on the bottom of my feet now, but that's alright. I had such a lovely evening with Hannah and Brandi that it doesn't matter :) I need more days like today in my life. Simple splendor just lights up my life :) Thank you, God, for your beauty--both in nature and your children :)

"Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power 
   and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, 
   for everything in heaven and earth is yours. 
Yours, LORD, is the kingdom; 
   you are exalted as head over all."
{1 Chronicles 29:11}

Tomorrow and Sunday are probably going to be a little rough for me, so please be praying if you don't mind. I really need to be productive, and to do that I need to find some motivation.... I think I can! I think I can! Goodnight dearies :)

Let's memorize the terms li, qi, te, shu, shen.....

Or better yet, let's remember what term means what and which religion they belong to! Seriously, I might bomb this world religions quiz/test/whatever it is tomorrow. Discerning the difference between Daoism and Confucianism will probably be my biggest obstacle (exhibit A, the vocab words above). And it probably doesn't help that the whole time I've been studying I've been distracted by facebook... Woops! My time in Carrier has been fairly pleasant though. I even got some free samples from Starbucks!

Yum! Strawberries and cream frappuccino and a rasberry scone :) Oh..... They're playing Michael Buble! That is great, haha. But all in all, today wasn't too bad in my book!

I just saw this music video for the first time today, and I'm basically obsessed with it.

1) I want Ke$sha's hair.
2) I want to have a dance party like that!
3) I love this song.
4) I kind of want to dress all BA like that, haha. ( Not all the time, just to a dance party or something.)

I finally got my Justice Team shirt!

Woop woop! I might wear it tomorrow. Oh my goodness y'all, the weather is going to be gorgeous! Eeeep! I'm excited! Goodnight :)

While we weren't being productive in Carrier...

Hannah, Taylor, Rachel, and I were discussing weddings and all the stuff that comes along with it. I won't go in depth on the whole conversation, but there was one thing that we all could not believe.... Disney bridal gowns. Yes, dear friends, I want a Disney princess-inspired dress!

 Belle

 Cinderella

 Aurora

Tiana

This.... would be a dream come true :)



P.S.- I started my extra credit blog for my literature class today. Check it out if you wish. I just started it today, but there will be more posts to come. Also, my sister Taylor (who used to have a tumblr) now has a blogger. Follow her!

Lost in youth, found through faith.

Have you ever looked back on your childhood mindset? As a child, I always felt so confident in my abilities. Yes, I can fling myself off of a swing set without injuring myself. Of course I can jump off of the diving board without ever having learned how to swim. No, I do not need help reaching the scotch tape on top of the cabinets (that's what the counter is for.... for me to stand on). Candice, I don't need to sleep on the bottom bunk anymore; I am fully capable of fighting the monster that lives up there (she told me that to keep me from arguing with her over who got what bunk). Candice and Jacqueline, let's stunt in the front yard; no I don't need a back spot! I can handle doing cheerleading, softball, and gymnastics all at the same time; I'm not too overwhelmed. Now mom, I know I have a broken wrist, but I can still dance and play softball!

Is that sort of self-assurance something we grow out of? It seems that the older we get, the more we doubt our capabilities. Things that push our boundaries morph into insurmountable obstacles. Scenarios that never received a second thought now trigger self-consciousness. Our childhood stage is defined by innocent inhibition; this age is clouded with anxiety. We are drowning in schedules, commitments, and expectations--more numerous and overwhelming than we are willing to address. Perhaps there within lies the spark for our emotional downshift.

When you're little, you know your easy-outs. Your loved will fight your battles; they can get you through anything. You trust them to do so, leaving it possible for your tender heart to be at ease. Over time, we have developed self-dependence. These battles are ours, personal feats to overcome by our own means. Our loved ones tend to be discredited, our Father not even considered. Harbored burdens dwell in crevices that blockade contentment. Stubborn are we, blind and naive to glorious simplicity.

Nothing placed before us was created to berate or belittle. Those stigmas are of our own hand. Childhood freedom has not been plundered, merely oppressed. The disposition still stands. Heartstrings outstretched in vulnerable confidence, it can be adopted once more.

We won't make a music video singing about Tuesday...

No but seriously y'all, we could be famous....

Bahahaha :P

P.S.- Try not to cringe every time she says "Friday;" it may take some sincere effort.

It's my Blogaversary!!!

That kind of blows my mind. I've only had this thing for one year? It certainly feels like it's been longer. I mean, this is my 456th post, so I guess that could be why. Haha! I love you blogging world!

Today wasn't crazy eventful, although I did get to see quite a few of my sisters :) After psyc, I got lunch with Taylor from my small group, after which I went to Carrier. I was able to find Courtney and Hannah in there, and that made me very happy :) Then, after health, I got to have a dinner date with Brandi! I did miss her so! Needless to say, I was very excited to see her :) After eating and signing up for Worldbeat, Stephanie and I took a trip to Walmart (much needed). She was kind enough to drop me off at Carrier so that I could study. However, it appears that I left the book that I need to study in my room. FAIL! Now I have to trek back to Eagle in the rain to actually study. I cannot believe I took that out of my backpack this morning. So dumb. Anyways, I suppose that's where I'll be heading soon.

Something that has been brought up quite a bit with me recently is God's plan. He has a path set before us. And no matter what you try to plan for yourself, God will close doors you aren't meant to venture through, while at the same time guiding you to experiences that foster growth and well-being. There's this quote from John Lennon that says "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Think about that for a second. God breathes life into us, and He has designed its course and He knows its purpose. Don't get wrapped up in paving your own road, because you'll miss the beautiful opportunities and blessings that God has placed before you. Live your life for Him. Let Him be your guide. You make think your planning is sufficient, but it will never be on par with that of our Father. End of story.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
{Matthew 6:34}


"Who, then, are those who fear the LORD? 
   He will instruct them in the ways they should choose."
{Psalm 25:12}

In a way, that should be a relief! However, all of us are professional fretters. To give up the control we think we have is much easier said than done. But you know, that means we have something to strive for!

Goodnight loves :)

Do you know what I love?

I really love doing things for others. I like doing something, anything, that will brighten up their day or put a smile on their face. I like to surprise them with a random act of kindness, just because I can! Because I want to! If it makes them happy, then I am happy :)

If you're wondering about my day, here what happened. I realized that I actually have a lot to do between now and next monday (work wise), and that kind of scares me.... quite a bit actually. I had a lovely lunch date with Brittany, and I later spent some time in Carrier with Hannah and Talita before going to the Groove. We had a different instructor than usual, and changes like that take a little while for me to warm up to... Anyways, small group was nice. We each shared what we did over break and how God worked in us during that time. I loved hearing about everyone's experiences; it's awesome to see how He touches all of us in different ways. Since then, I've been in Carrier (shocker!). I haven't been alone the whole time though. I had Daniel and Taylor to keep me company, which I was grateful for. Whilst I've been here, I have completed a short writing assignment for my literature class, and I have completed all the short-answer (well, my answers are pretty lengthy....) questions on the Family Life internship application. That right there is a decent amount of weight lifted off my shoulders. Now I just have to complete the essay questions...

Oh yeah! Today I received a reply letter from Senator Jim Webb. Confused? Well, last semester (for my social issues class) I wrote him a letter regarding the fact that his signature was not on two acts of legislation that were created to help eliminate human trafficking in the U.S.. Well, I was happy to hear that he ended up signing the Child Protection Compact Act of 2010, as well as the International Protecting Girls by Preventing Child Marriage Act (which I hadn't actually mentioned when I wrote him). However, even though both bills passed the Senate, neither was approved by both houses of Congress. Ugh! Dear American government, I need you to step up your game! At any rate, I hope Virginia Senators continue to support legislation that will help end trafficking in America. I hope, I hope!

Goodnight precious loves :) Sleep well!

Back at school

and I'm actually not too incredibly bitter about it. I'm excited to see my friends and sisters; I missed them quite a bit over break. Of course, I'm already missing my Richmond loves, so it's kind of a lose-lose. Either way, I end up missing someone. Blegh, what a predicament....

Today was pretty dandy, despite losing an hour of sleep (which meant that I didn't fall asleep until 4). Church was lovely. Lunch in the sun was SO nice; plus, I always enjoy chatting it up with my loves :) After some conversation in the WEAG parking lot, I had to come home and finish packing. Y'all, I literally had to sit on my suitcase to get it zipped shut. I was concerned the zipper was going to break. Thankfully, though, it didn't. PRAISE! I am so glad I have my darling Stephanie to ride back to school with. It really does make the transition easier for me. Also, she just makes my heart so incredibly happy (even if she does traumatize me by making me make decisions and then mock me by telling me that she's going to notify Heather of my accomplishment of doing so, hahaha). Unpacking took a little longer than I thought, but it wasn't bad at all. I got to see Brittany and Brianna, which was great. However, I have successfully managed to neglect doing any of the reading I need to do for tomorrow. Way to go self, haha. Oh well, it'll get done eventually! I love you all! For those of you currently on spring break, relax and make the most of it while you can! Goodnight loves :)

This is where trust comes into play.

I need to trust in God that everything is going to work out in regards to this summer, because right now I feel stressed and confused. It won't be easy for me to just leave it up to Him, but I know I need to (and I have Kathryn to thank a large deal for reminding me of that). Whether I'm supposed to get a job, do this internship, go to Africa, or any combination of these is not really up to me. In the end, everything is going to work out the way He wants them to. The uncertainty just kind of scares me, you know? I thought I had these things figured out, and yeah..... No. I have no clue what I'm going to be doing this summer. I just need to wait and let God lead me where I'm supposed to be. I am very anxious.....

^"3 You keep him in perfect peace
   whose mind is stayed on you,
   because he trusts in you.
⁴ Trust in the LORD forever,
   for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock."
{Isaiah 26:3-4}

Rundown:

• Wake up, get dressed, make up, straighten hair.
• Talk to Sarah and Mrs. Tobey for a bit.
• Come home, eat, do laundry, read.
• Casa Grande for dinner with my dad and Jenn.
• Friendly's and hangout sesh with Kathryn, Colin, and Elsbeth.
• Fail fire pit.
• Netflix shows about paranormal activity.
• Later Joined by David and Sonya.
• Watched footage of David running around VCU as a fawn.
• Parking lot chat with Kathryn.

All in all, today's been pretty good. I can't believe I've going back to school tomorrow. It doesn't feel like I am at all. Well, I've already lost an hour of sleep, so I think it's time to hit the sack. Goodnight loves.

Oh, what to do....

I know what I want.
I am aware of what I need.
What I am uncertain of,
is whether or not
the two can coincide.
I do not want to jump through
these loops that others can avoid.
However, I want to do this.
I feel called to it.
But does this mean
I have to make a choice?
Because, honestly,
I can't sacrifice
my need for my want
even if I would like to.
Ugh, I hate making decisions!
What to do?!

Oh, and here's the rundown from yesterday since I failed to post:

• Lovely lunch date with Annemarie!
• It really had been much too long,
• Laundry.
• Kind of starting on my extra credit for literature.
• I'll tell y'all more about that soon.
• Traveled over to Midlo for a lovely evening with my darling Heather :)
• Sushi-O and Cold Stone :)
• Blooming tea!
• A little anticlimactic, but that's okay. Haha.
• Watched Salt. 
• I liked it! But Heather was left unsatisfied with the ending, haha.
• Conversations by the fire :)
• I'm kind of obsessed with their fireplace, haha.
• Sleep at a decent hour (well for me at least, haha).

Twas a lovely night, a lovely night indeed :)

Prayers for Japan!

I cannot even imagine what our brothers and sisters are enduring...

{Photo cred}

Please be praying for all of the regions that have been affected by these earthquakes and tsunamis (including Hawaii and the Philippines). A tragedy of this multitude requires support from each and every one of us!

^"7 I form light and create darkness,
   I make well-being and create calamity,
   I am the LORD, who does all these things.

 ⁸ 'Shower, O heavens, from above,
   and let the clouds rain down righteousness;
let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit;
   let the earth cause them both to sprout;
   I the LORD have created it.'"

{Isaiah 45:7-8}

Look at the stars,

look how they shine for you...

As I was driving home tonight, I couldn't help but notice how lovely and vast the sky looked. The stars were shining bright and crystal clear, a view that was certainly better than what can be seen from my own driveway. It struck me as funny, though, that such a  lovely sight was to be seen over the interstate--a place where we speed past often without so much as a noticing glance. Isn't that how things often are, though? We're in such a rush to keep up with all of our commitments, that beautiful glimmers don't even register on our radar. The spark merely fades into an abyss of haze, neither missed nor remembered. I've been taught in school that most of what we sense is never stored into memory, that most of what we experience is discarded. The truth of that fact is saddening and apparent. More unfortunate, though, is the fact that we sit here and say "I am going to soak in all of the beauty that God has set before me," but when we try to do so, we realize that there is no time to be used to do so. The back-burner... I know I've forced its acquaintance with things that don't deserve it. At what point do we get to just take it all in, and let it be enough? I wish I could go back to that interstate right now and lay down there, staring up at the glistening lights shining above me. For a moment, I want to feel as though I am floating amongst them, their beams descending down upon me. But no, to lie in the middle of a such terrain is not feasible. Wouldn't it be lovely though? One day such worries will cease to exist. One day, we will be able to see and experience everything in its entirety :) On that day, we will dance and sing praises before our Father, for He will restore us. He is so good to us :)

"However, as it is written:

   'What no eye has seen,
   what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived'—
   the things God has prepared for those who love him—"

{1 Corinthians 2:9}

And the run-down:

• Sweet Frog with Elsbeth :)
• Home for some relaxation.
• Dinner with my mom, Jenn, and Harry.
• Harry cracks me up! I love him :)
• Visit to see Grace and Emily.
• I can't believe how much they've grown!
• Movie night with Stephanie :)
• Burlesque!

Goodnight precious loves. Sleep well :)

Gerbertus Mike ___________

Hahaha. Say hello to the name of my future son! Thanks for the suggestion Courtney; it's definitely a keeper ;)

Today was good. Kind of lazy, but good! I got lunch with my love, Nikki, which made me very happy :) Then I came home and watched the Brandy version of Cinderella! Seriously, I love that movie! I love it so much that I went on Youtube after the movie ended and watched it all the way up to the point where I turned started when it was on TV. (You see, when I started watching it on television, it was already at the ball scene.) But yes, it made me so happy. I love this song in particular:

I like to sing it sometimes when no one else is around :) But yes, after that it was time for me to travel over to Hungary Creek to watch my darling Juliana at her gymnastics meet. She did so good! I was definitely proud :) She placed 5th on beam, and her dismount left me with my mouth open. I didn't know she could do that! Haha. I really enjoyed watching her, and I just love her in general :)

From there, I had dinner with my padre. Well actually, I ate dinner while talking to my dad since him and Jenn had already eaten. We had some pretty legit conversation. I always love it when that happens, because sometimes my dad teaches me some new things. And I think that maybe there's more to him than I give him credit for. At any rate, that was a good time. I came back to my mom's house and proceeded to skype my lovely sister, Hannah :) Oh goodness, I do love her. After 2 hours of chatting, we decided to add our dear love Courtney to the conversation! The three of us talked for over an hour, and it was quite humorous. Oh my gosh I love them :) I didn't feel like I had been on skype for almost 3 1/2 hours. Shoot, I could talk to them all day! I love my sisters; they're so great! And now I'm about ready to go to sleep. I love you all! Goodnight :)

Cupcakes, bowling, and dougie-ing on sidewalks.

Hello loves! Today was beautiful and lovely. I turned in my Sweet Frog application (and this would be my top choice in regards to jobs right now, so please pray that it works out). Heather and I picked Kelly up for her birthday rendez-vous, which was splendid :) We went to Pearl's cupcakes first, and that was delicious! I got a King Cake cupcake; oh my gosh, so good! (Yay Mardis Gras!) Then, we ventured over to the Short Pump area for some bowling! Ahhh! Okay, so even though none of us were necessarily good at bowling, it was still lots of fun! Between Kelly trying to jinx Heather and I, and Heather "threatening" to smash a ball in my face, it was quite entertaining. Haha! Upon returning to my humble abode, I took a late afternoon siesta before going out to dinner with my mom, Jenn, and Candice. (And if you all wouldn't mind, could you please pray for Candice? She really needs peace and rest right now. Her anxiety from work is through the roof, and it's lead her to health problems in the past. Just pray that she will make it until the end of the school year.)

But yes, after dinner I went to 1822, which was really good. I love it when Jamal speaks. Not only does he hold your attention, but I just love the messages he presents and the scripture he bases it off of. Kudos Jamal! And his talk was actually kind of perfect, because the issue of poverty in our city was really weighing on my heart earlier in the evening. I just really wish I could help those in need, the homeless especially. I wish there was a way that I could find them a house, provide them with a job, make sure they had food and clothing. I just want to help! I know that I can't do that now, since I'm not financially independent myself. But as a small act, I do have a little project planned for this summer, and it involves a little something called National Cow Appreciation Day...

I've talked to some of you before about this plan, but I am determined to make it happen this year! More details to come later. (And by later I mean summer, when the date comes closer, so stay tuned!)

After 1822, a bunch of us went to Boyer's, and it was SO GOOD! Once they closed, Kathryn, Nathan, Elsbeth, Brad, Kelly Gumm, and I hung out outside just talking, dancing, laughing, chasing cars, and laughing as Nathan and Brad posed/danced on the medians and pretended they were going to jump into traffic. I love my friends; they're just so crazy and amazing! There's never a dull moment, I can tell you that :) Goodnight my loves! I hope your slumber is sound :)

I can't believe I'm awake right now...

Today was pretty good, and rather productive as well. I'm really tired right now, so this will just be a quick run-down:

• Delivered IJM Seek Justice cards to Sara from the RJI.
• Picked up necessities from Target.
• Grabbed some lunch and ate it while relaxing at home.
• Filled out a Target job application.
• Skyped Heather.
• Dinner at Padre's with Jenn.
• Finally caught up/finished Proverbs Project.
• Purchased tickets for The Master's Plan.
• The 6:30 Saturday show!
• Sweet Frog with Kathryn.
• We both picked up job applications.
• Went back to Kathryn's house to watch Eat Pray Love.
• We found a promo code and redboxed it for FREE!
• I love hanging out and just talking with Kathryn; it makes me happy :)

Goodnight loves! Pleasant dreams :)

Proverbs 31

Remain sober-minded; let not your knowledge elude you. Be a voice for the oppressed; strive to bring about justice in this world!

A good wife is of great value. She stimulates confidence. She is diligent and hard-working. She provides for her loved ones. She is careful and thoughtful in her decision making. She is strong; never does her flame extinguish. She shows love and compassion for those in need. Her family is always looked after. She is independent. She is a woman her husband can be proud of. She is dignified! She is seen as praiseworthy and a blessing by her family; she is a beloved and treasured individual. Her hard work will be noted, and it will bring her praise.

^"30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

(I hope that, one day, I can be that support system for my husband and children.)

Proverbs 30

We have brothers and sisters on this earth who have never even heard of Jesus Christ or the word of God. We are called to share His glory with them, without adding any of our own understanding. Doing so will have you deemed as a liar. We are to keep great distance from lies and false concepts. Do not value the "riches" of this earth, but rather seek all that you need from God. Do not be greedy. Repent; own up to your wrongdoings. We will never (on this earth) be able to fully understand the vast beauty, wisdom, love, and glory of our Father. His goodness will forever be overwhelming. Exalt Him, always. Do not strive to bring glory to yourself, you will only look foolish and attain a tainted heart.

Beautiful innocence.

^"2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³ And he said:“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. ⁵ And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

    ⁶ “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." 

{Matthew 18:2-6}

^”15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 

{Mark 10:15}

As I was watching "Lost" (the kid's choir production) tonight, I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful faith of these children. Here they are singing, dancing, rapping, signing, and acting to share the gospel, and they are so full of joy! Every single one of them is a little light, burning brightly for our Father. Sometimes it's easy to listen to children's songs and simply say, "Awww. They're so cute." But if you take a moment to actually listen to what they're saying, the message is so important, no matter how simple it may be... "Everything's okay and everything's alright, 'cause I got Jesus in my life!" How often could we use that reminder? For me, it's often, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Probably one of the most impacting songs to hear them sing, though, was Amazing Grace. These kids are just so young and innocent, and to hear them sing "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me" really struck me. I could never look at a child and consider him or her a wretch. That's not the point of the song, I realize, but these kids have an understanding (or are learning) that we are born with sin, that Jesus died for us because of our sin, and that His grace is a precious gift. I can't think of another word to describe that other than beautiful. The show was beautiful, the kids were beautiful, and their worship was beautiful. Twas a lovely thing indeed :)

^"6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, 
   each of us has turned to our own way; 
and the LORD has laid on him 
   the iniquity of us all."

{Isaiah 53:6}

Goodnight my precious loves; sleep well :)

Proverbs 29

I'm going to try to pinpoint verses whose topics I haven't already discussed in previous posts...

^"10 The bloodthirsty hate a person of integrity 
   and seek to kill the upright."

Our life is one constant spiritual battle. The wicked are constantly and unceasingly striving to make us give in to sin, to surrender our lives. True life lies in God and God alone. Satan and those he has enticed wish for us to stray from that truth. They want us to venture down the path of darkness straight to our death! The wicked hate to see us thrive in the light of the Lord, so take up the armor of God, for this battle is raging continuously. Stand firm in our Father, and you shall win this war.

^"19 Servants cannot be corrected by mere words; 
   though they understand, they will not respond."

Though we may constantly read scripture, and although we may often hear God speaking into our hearts, that often is not enough to fix ourselves or our problems. We have this awful tendency of hearing things and just letting them go in one ear and out the other (sorry for the cliche). To understand a concept and to actively respond to it are two very different things. And although it can be hard to accept rebuke and actually want to implement change, it must be done in accordance with what God asks of us. Therefore, do not simply hear what He is saying to you and take it at face value. Act on it. Alter yourself as needed! If you need to, ask someone to hold you accountable, and seek guidance from a spiritual leader or wise friend. We are servants of our Father; we must heed His word.

^"26 Many seek an audience with a ruler, 
   but it is from the LORD that one gets justice."

No one on this earth can give you aid, guidance, or advice that measures up to that of God. He is our protector; He stands in our defense. The Lord knows our path and will not allow the faithful to stumble. God works for the good of those who love and praise Him {Romans 8:28}, and there is no greater provider or miracle-worker than our Father. Seek His wisdom and guidance! No earthly knowledge can begin to compare!