Seeking peace and giving thanks.

I was browsing through photobucket today, and I came across some pictures that I really love.

They make we wish I was standing on the peak of a mountain, the sands of a vacant beach, or a sunny field of wildflowers. Somewhere I could stand with my arms outstretched and be at peace. A place where I could be truly alone with my creator and achieve the serene mind, body, and soul that I so desire. To sing and dance praises freely and without hinderance. Such a beautiful thing, that would be. To be away from the stresses and struggles and to simply relax with my Father. Oh, what a wondrous thing that would be...

^"1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High 
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, 
   my God, in whom I trust.”

 ³ Surely he will save you
   from the fowler’s snare
   and from the deadly pestilence. ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
   and under his wings you will find refuge;
   his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

{Psalm 91:1-4}

In regards to today, I have a few things I am thankful for {we can give thanks every day, right?}:

• Hot tea to soothe my morning weariness.
• Friends to laugh with.
• Diversity.
• Craft spurts and the friends that inspire them :)
• The Lord's faithfulness.

Of course I have so much in this life to be grateful for, but those things just appeared most prevalent over the course of today. In other news, my roommate informed me that she is taking next semester off. That means I won't have a roommate, or {even more frightening} I'll be getting a new one. I not so much worried about that right now though. I more-so wanted to let Danielle know that I supported her decision to see what what best for her and what suits her social, educational, and emotional needs. I will miss her a great deal, but I know that she is doing what is right for her as of now. For that, I am happy for her.


Well my dear loves, I am very tired. I somehow managed to get through an entire chapter of my PSYC book, and my eyes are now exhausted. I love you all! Goodnight!

I had this awful dream last night

where I over committed myself to so many different things at JMU.  People were angry with me and I was stressed out beyond belief.

Cause I've never had to deal with anything like that before. Oh wait...

And for those of you are are going through this now, just let me know and I'll be praying for you profusely. I definitely know where you're coming from, and I know it really sucks... 'Tis the season I suppose....

T minus 13 days

until I can go home again. It's not that I don't like school, but break was just so glorious! I'm kind of bitter about being back here in all honesty. I feel like all I'm returning to is papers, quizzes, exams, and massive amounts of reading. I think if I make it through tomorrow, though, things won't be so bad. I'm trying to focus on more positive aspects of being back here at JMU, such as...

• Brittany, Brianna, and all of my other JMU friends.
• IV {small group, justice team, etc.}
• SAO! {I get initiated on Saturday! Eeep!}
• Not having to legitimately pay for Starbucks. {Woop! Dining dollars!}

I knew my period of joyous relaxation would come to a close eventually, all good things do. I suppose I'm just to stubborn to experience it without even a small amount of complaining. Sorry if that is bothersome. I myself am not a huge fan of whining, but it makes me feel better sometimes...

Anyways, since my return to campus, I have finished my government paper. That is a huge relief. Now I just need to tackle SOCI questions, government questions, and my GWRTC intro. Goodnight my sweet loves, and thank you for making my break so incredibly spectacular! I really do have amazing friends :) I love you!

"All I remember was waking up and hanging off the side of the bed."

Hello blog world! Sorry for my absence last night! I was enjoyed a lovely evening with my dear Heather :) We watched Slumdog Millionaire while eating pie and drinking tea, and we just hung out by the fire and talked the night away. Twas lovely indeed! This morning I enjoyed breakfast with the Tobey family {most of them}, which was shortly followed up by a trip to OCCTF {Old Church Christmas Tree Farm}.

They found their tree, needless to say :) And upon our return to the house, Heather and I quickly drove over to Sweet Frog for some froyo before GCN rehearsal. Kelly presented me with a bag of peppermint bark, and that made me very happy :) In general, being at church with my friends makes me happy. The people I love most are all around me, and they complete my happy bubble :) Around 5:15, I had to leave to go meet my sisters at Topeka's for dinner. That was quite enjoyable, I'm happy to say. I came home for a spell to fold some laundry, finish my pillow, and pack a majority of the things I need for my return back to JMU. Eww. At any rate, I headed over to Daniel's house between 9 and 10, and I seriously wanted to kill my tomtom. I planned on taking the Huguenot exit off of Chippenham, but I missed it somehow. Thus, I had to follow tomtom's directions, and he took me through two tolls! Tolls scare me, okay. At the second one, I seriously didn't think I had any quarters, and I had to use exact change! Luckily, after being stopped there for at least a minute, I managed to find one somewhere in my purse! The people behind me probably hated me, but when I made it through I was profusely thanking Jesus, not even kidding. I was so freaked out. Anyways, we watched the Dark Knight at Daniel's while also carrying on humorous side conversations and talking about college before we all left. I followed Elizabeth on the way home to avoid tolls.... Life fail. And now I'm sitting here semi-stressing over the work that I've neglected. Tomorrow night is going to suck, not only because I have to leave all of my beloved friends once again, but also because of everything that needs to get done. Please pray for me friends. This is going to be rough. I love you all! Goodnight!

Don't you hate it when pictures look better on the camera

than they do on the computer? I know I do. This picture's an example. It's of me, Candice, and her dog Laila:

It's not that it's necessarily a bad picture, but... I don't know. Moving on!

I posted earlier about what I was thankful for. This post is simply a synopsis of todays events. I went to the Thanksgiving service this morning, which I found to be very quaint and lovely :) I got to sit with Heather and Mama & Papa Tobz, and I'm not going to lie, that made me very happy inside :) I just love all of them so much! Bahh :D Any ways {haha!}, after that I came home for a short while before going over to my dads at 2:30ish. We were only there for an hour, and we didn't eat anything because my Mommom got there late. I felt really bad for leaving my dad's so soon, but we didn't want to miss the meal at my Mom's house.... When we get back to her house, guess what, they had all already eaten. My mom, Johnny, Aunt Kathy, and Uncle Jeff had eaten without April, Molly {cousins}, Jennifer, Candice, and myself. Awesome right? Johnny tried yelling at us because "Your mom told you we'd be eating at 2!" Blah blah blah. Correction {and I told him this}, she said they were eating between 3 and 3:30. We got back at 3:40! Ugh, whatever. My cousins, my sisters, and I had a lovely meal with the table all to ourselves. After the eating it was pretty much just chill hang-out time. Not long after my aunt, uncle, and cousins left, my mom and Johnny left to go to West Virginia. Bye! See you in a few weeks! Yeah...... Anyways, I went to Kelly's soon after that :) We watched "The Ultimate Christmas Present," a Disney channel original movie made in 2000. It was so great! We're going to the bring the vocabulary back, which includes {but is not limited to} fierce, rad, and lame-o. Haha! After the movie, we decided to make sugar cookies while laughing over Mad TV skits and "that's what she said" jokes. {Oh! And Buddy of course!} But yes, our cookies were a success, and I had a marvelous time with an incredible friend :) I so glad my Thanksgiving could end on a high note :) Goodnight sweet loves! I must depart, for my older sister wishes to start shopping prior to 5 AM. Oh dear... wish me luck!

I am so thankful today.

Or better yet, I am happy to be giving recognition to that which I am most grateful for in my life :)

I am thankful for a God who always loves me despite my flaws and wrongdoings. I am eternally grateful for the salvation He has blessed me with, and I could never express enough how much His presence in my life has meant to me! He took me as a lost child and welcomed me into His warm and glorious embrace. I do love Him, and I'm so happy to be his daughter :) Praise be to our Father! He is so good! His faithfulness never ceases :)

I am thankful for my family, no matter how dysfunctional and broken it may be. No matter how often they upset or anger me, they do love me at the end of the day. For that, I am thankful.

I am so thankful for all of my lovely friends! You are the the biggest joy I have on this earth, and you mean more to me than I could ever tell you. You have filled my life with your unending love and compassion, and you are the greatest gift the Lord could have blessed me with. I know I've told you that you are my true and beloved family, and that statement holds true. You make me feel more loved and cared-for than any other person. You are the reason I am who I am today, and you are why I face each day with a happy heart :) Thank you so much, my precious loves! You are truly my greatest treasure :)

Happy Thanksgiving my loves! May it be full of joy and love :)

"Are you and Austin dating?"

Seriously now, we've  been facebook official since summer! Geez! :)

Today was quite nice. If you exclude the time that I had to use to take my little sister to school this morning, I got to sleep until 11:20. Woop woop! Once I got up and made myself look presentable, I went on a lunch and Starbucks date with Nikki :) I love our dates! Shoot, I just love Nikki in general :) But yes, that was a lovely time. From there, I just came back to the house and poked around. I found this random game on a google search and played in until I beat the whole thing.... Don't judge me, please. After that, I worked on my pillow some more before I left videos on several people's walls and skyped with my darling Brianna and Brittany :) I love them. They're one of the few things I miss about JMU right now, haha. Anyways, I left her a little before 9 to go hang out at Kathryn's with everyone. I got to see Daniel and Eric for the first time in what has seemed like forever! Most of the guys were lame, however, ad left Kathryn's early to go over to the Sketch pad. Dumb. The boys that stayed {Jesse, Austin, Eric Hoyt, Colin, and Matt} are thus proclaimed cooler in the eyes of us girls. At any rate, we tried to get donuts from Krispy Kreme, but we got there 10 minutes after it closed. That was a major fail. Then, after I took Colin back to his car, Elsbeth and I joined Kim, Kathryn, Matt, Elizabeth, and Eric at Waffle House. I just got a sweet tea tonight, I wasn't up for a chocolate chip waffle; maybe next time. But yeah, everything from there was part of the coming-home process, so I'll just leave all of that out. It's technically Thanksgiving everyone! I would post what I'm thankful for, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow's post. Goodnight my dears! I love you!

I saw this on my news feed

and I had to post it on here! Thanks for sharing Renee! We really do have so much to be thankful for!

"I used to be able to say no!"

Oh my, these past two days have been epic for "that's what she said" jokes, haha!

Today was one of those days where i soaked up some good quality time with my friends :) This morning, Kelly made her and I some delicious pancakes with baked apples! Yumm! My loves are so gifted at baking, cooking, and things of that sort :) Then, once we both got dressed and whatnot, we stopped by my house and found a phone for Kelly before taking a stroll around Short Pump. Twas fun indeed, but I was soon very tired as a result of being sick. No big deal though, we reconvened at my house shortly after that, where we watched the Aristocats and a little bit of the Suit Life on Deck. When she departed, I started working some more on my pillow for Ariel. Then, at 6, I left my house to stop by Starbucks and then head up to church. I delivered Kaitlyn her java chip frappacino and just hung out and conversed with a few of my darling loves :) Once the flying rehearsal was all done, Heather and I took a little rendez-vous to get some sushi. I ordered the Dragon & Phoenix Roll:

It was so delicious {and pretty}! And the meal was followed up by some delectable desert at Boyer's. I had such a lovely time with my Heather dearest :) I am just really thankful for the amazing friends that God had blessed me with. I can never say that enough!The truth behind it is so relevant! Since being home, I have finished my pillow {which I would post a picture of except I don't know if Ariel will read this post or not} and I have posted various messages on people's facebook walls. All in all, it's been a pretty relaxing evening! And now I suppose it's time for me to shower, pop a benedryl, and hit the sack. I love you all! Goodnight!

Five Years

Today, I was a sickling. It wasn't all bad though. I had yummy pizza for dinner at my dad's house, brought Starbucks to my darling Kelly and Heather, and Kelly and I went and saw Harry Potter. Yes, I had already seen it, but that's really beside the point. It's an awesome movie! It can be viewed multiple times :) And now, I am spending the night at Kelly's. We just finished conversing over some delightful chamomile tea :) And despite the fact that I am all stopped up and hardly able to breathe through my nose, my mind and body are at peace.

As some of you may know, today marks the passing of five years since my brother was murdered on November 22, 2005. Although the memory of that day is always hard to think about, I found myself not dwelling on the negative thoughts so much today. Today, I took the time to both remember Matt and thank the Lord that he is in a better place, a place where he can be eternally happy with the Father. It's a lovely comfort to know that my brother is in the presence of God. And even though I really wish I had an older brother here to hug me and talk to me, I know that he is always looking out for me. Sometimes, when I see a sun beam bursting from the golden lining of a cloud, I smile because I imagine that it's Matt, glancing down from Heaven to watch over those whom he loved the most, and who loved him in return. Better still, I picture my reunion with him when I enter those gates, and the thought reminds me that five years ago wasn't the end of our time together. I will see him again one day, and all of this pain will evaporate. I love you Matt, and I miss you very much!

{Mark Matthew Gersuk 6/17/82-11/22/05}

"⁴who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

 ⁵For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.

 ⁶But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer;"

{2 Corinthians 1:4-6}

I do not like being a sickling.

Hot tea and Puffs Plus are my BFFs right now. It's quite sad, really....

Also...

I was at GCN rehearsals when a lovely girl whom I love very much showed me a text message from her best friend. Her friend had sent it to her last night when she was upset, and this beautiful girl told me she cried when she read it, and I understood why. Her friend reminded her that she was made perfect in God's vision, and that everything she does in life is for God. When we dance, we aren't dancing for another individual, but for Jesus. It doesn't matter what others think of you. You are wonderfully and flawlessly made in the eyes of the Lord. When I read that text message, my heart was made happy. Happy that my little love had such a compassionate best friend, and happy that she drew her advise not from herself, but from the Lord. I don't know, something about that just really struck a chord in me. Her friend possesses something very admirable, and I think we could all use a dosage of that innocent truth from time to time. Sorry if I seem bipolar right now {given the tone of my last post}, but I felt compelled to share. I love you all! Goodnight!

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."
{1 Timothy 4:12}

I wish I had stayed at church.

Simple question.
Listed reply.
Offensive response.
Reminiscent.
The bearded cynic.
Too familiar.
Let it go.
Let it pass.
Completion of the meal.
Convicting question.
Anticipated.
Rebuke.
More emotional than expected.
Eyes searing through me.
Teeth gritted.
Holding his tongue.
Third party.
Finger thrown in her face.
Anger.
Expressed.
Minutes pass.
"I am confused."
He wonders why.
"My friends don't do this to me;
my family never fails to cause upset."
Admittance of his wrongdoing.
Too numb to move on.
Bitterness has burrowed.
Courtesy was placed second.
Curiosity the victor.
Argument ongoing.
Circular.
Despise vulnerability.
"The day you stop getting upset,
be concerned."
I'm not naive.
This is how life is.
But it's preferred in solitude.
A trickle.
A leak.
Harsh tones.
Raised voices.
Dismissive resolution.
Tired.
Dry eyes.
I knew there was a reason for my absence...


Thank you, God, for blessing me with my friends who love, respect, and care for me unceasingly and unconditionally. They are the highlight of my life, and I certainly couldn't get by without them. You knew that, and that's why they were placed in my life. For that I am eternally thankful. Goodnight my dears. I love you all  more than you will ever know.

What I love about being home:

1. Breakfast dates and sword fights with Kelly :)
2. My darling Heather :)
3. Bringing Nikki Starbucks :)
4. Not letting people pay :)
5. Church, everything about it :)
6. Hugging my dearest loves :)
7. Sweet Frog and Teavana :)
8. Watching my friends dance :)
9. Hanging out like old times at Elizabeth's :)
10. Elsbeth's impeccable sense of humor :)
11. Being loud and crazy with the crew :)
12. Waffle House and MAEGAN :)
13. Smashing 7 people in a 4-person car :)
14. Hanging out until 1:30 AM :)
15. Feeling truly loved and happy inside :)

There are so many other things too! But this is just my brief synopsis from today :)

This had seriously been the greatest day-and-a-haf ever! I am surrounded by so many people that I love so incredibly much. I never want this break to end. This is seriously like a little slice of heaven. I am floating in my happy bubble :) Goodnight loves! Pleasant dreams!

"Oh my gosh that's Miss Vicky!"

I am home and it feels so amazing! After lugging all of my stuff inside and throwing some laundry in the wash, Jennifer and I headed over to Henrico for the Center for the Arts fall showcase! Oh my gosh, it was so nice to see everyone there. When Sarah saw me, she let out an intense high-pitched scream and tackled me with a hug. I love her so much! I looked at her and she was crying! I was like, "Sarah!!!!" I just love her and miss her a ton! She did absolutely lovely in the show {as did everyone else}. I miss CFA so much! I wanted to be up on stage dancing with them so badly! After the show, I went to dinner with Ashton, Sarah, Jessica, and Weston. It was a good time indeed :) Lots of laughing, lots of story sharing, and just fun in general! And now I'm sitting here at home getting ready to hit the hay. Tomorrow comes early! I love you all so much! Goodnight!

P.S.- WELCOME HOME HEATHER!!!!!!!

^"4 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth,
 burst into jubilant song with music; 
⁵ make music to the LORD with the harp,
 with the harp and the sound of singing, 
⁶ with trumpets and the blast of the ram’s horn—
 shout for joy before the LORD, the King.

⁷ Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
 the world, and all who live in it. 
⁸ Let the rivers clap their hands,
 let the mountains sing together for joy;"

{Psalm 98:4-8}

HP7

So I just finished showering after getting back from seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Ahhh! I really want to just go home and read what's left of the story because I feel like I'm missing so much! Haha. The movie was very good! And luckily the theater Taylor and I were in wasn't full of any over-the-top crazy fanatics. The sound in the theater was screwing up a bit during the previews, but luckily it got fixed like two minutes before the movie started! So yeah, that was awesome. And I am so excited because in 12 hours I will be on my way home!!!! Oh my gosh break, I can see you on the horizon! Hurry up, hurry up!

And for those who are curious to what went on before the movie, here's a rundown:

• Woke up, got ready, had a super awesome lunch with Melissa and Kim :)
• Went to class, professor never came, we all left.
• PSYC had already been canceled, no class for me today.
• Came back to the room and packed.
• Interviewed Lauren.
• Had a splendid dinner date with Courtney.
• Came back to the dorm, talked to Brianna for a spell.
• Cue my departure for Harry Potter

And now here I am. I best be getting some sleep. My alarm is set to go off at 9:30, a mere five and half hours away. It doesn't matter really, Harry Potter was so worth it :) Goodnight sweet loves!

"This is the day which the LORD has made;
         Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

{Psalm 118:24}

P.S.- Eeeeeep! Heather comes home today!!!!!!

"Stephanie, teach me how to do the booty pop!"

So, I pretty much loved today. I didn't fall asleep in my classes, took 2 naps, finished a paper that isn't due until friday, and took an amazing worldbeat dance class at UREC with my loves from SAO :) That class was so much fun! And it made me feel better in regards to not having lost too much since coming to college. I haven't really been able to keep up with dance at all, so this class made me more confident that I'm not too rusty, and that it's not all gone just because I'm not doing it every day like I used to. But yes, this class was full of hip moving and booty shaking and popping {that Jenn and Hannah did not fail to comment on as they were right behind me... haha!} and it was just a blast! Yes, it was exhausting, but the workout felt phenomenal. We were all certainly feeling the burn in our abs/legs/arms, and I'm sure we'll be feeling the aftermath tomorrow, but it was worth it! OH! And they played Jai Ho(!), which is basically one of my favorite songs. Granted, it was the Pussycat Doll version, but I still loved it! Afterwards, I had to actually shower and brush my teeth at UREC since the water went out in my dorm. Yeah, the showers, toilets, sings, water fountains... they were all tapped out. But luckily all of the water seems to be working again, and for that I am so thankful! And now I am working on this discussion board for my SOCI class so that I won't have to worry about it tomorrow. You see, tomorrow night is the Harry Potter midnight premier, and I am going!!! Yay! I am so stoked! At any rate, I really need to finish this up. I love you all so much! Goodnight!

These make me happy :)

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
{Romans 15:13}


"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it."
{Ecclesiastes 3:11-14}


"May he give you the desire of your heart
   and make all your plans succeed."
{Psalm 20:4}

"I'm such a bad influence on her!"

"Ehh, what's a Big for?!" Haha, Ariel and Courtney humor me :)

Greetings! I got to sleep in today, which I really needed. I also checked my email to find out that my first class was canceled! Praise! Thus, I was able to finish all of the SOCI and PSYC homework that I needed to before actually going to PSYC {my only class of the day}. The sad thing is, I was almost late. Haha. That would not have been good. Uncle Bijan would have shut the door and not let me in, but it's okay because I made it there at 3:30 on the dot! From there, I went to Duke's to have dinner with my lovely big, Ariel :) We ate and shared our testimonies, which I'm really glad we did. From there, we left to go watch the movie for government. On our way there, however, we were talking about how bummed we were that we were missing the SAO thanksgiving dinner. So, long story short, we skipped the movie and went to eat food and hang out with our lovely sisters {or soon-to-be sisters in my case} :) It was so lovely to just spend time with all of them to talk, laugh, and share what it is we're thankful for :) I do love them! It was well worth not going to the government movie, haha. Ariel and I certainly felt accomplished, at any rate :) Since I got back to the dorm, I've gotten almost nothing productive done. I've facebook stalked, typed like three or four sentences of a paper, and hung out in Brittany and Brianna's room. Yeah, I'm definitely ready for break. We're all burnt out. And I just can't wait to see and hug all of my lovely friends back home! Ahhh! I love and miss you guys so much! Three days! Three days! I love you all so much! Goodnight!

Brittany, Brianna, and I watched this while I was in their room. This kid is so adorable! Haha :)

Pray

Please be praying for Danielle {my roommate}. She found out an hour and a half ago that her friend Nick passed away. Prayers for Danielle as well as Nick's family and friends would be lovely. Thank you all.

Broken down.

I was told tonight that my major was a waste of time, that social workers can't really help people or make a difference. I'm not going to lie to you, I was hurt. I was offended and didn't know what to say. I don't believe what he said, but I'm pretty upset nonetheless. But God had to have had a purpose in having me meet this man. Even though my spirit is broken and I feel essentially weak and defeated, I know that things will somehow turn out for the better {even if I can't see how yet}...

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

{2 Corinthians 12:9-10}

I've been listening to this song a lot tonight. It isn't necessarily relevant to what's been going on, but it calmed me down a bit. I just thought I'd share it with you.

Goodnight, my loves.

To be loved

is a truly amazing feeling!

Tonight I had a retreat with with my ΣΑΩ candidates {and a few sisters as well!}, and I can't properly describe on here how at peace I was. I was able to spend an evening with some of the most incredible girls ever, fellow daughters of Christ. We snacked, crafted, Mary-Kay-ed, worshiped, and discussed how we are found beautiful in the eyes of God {even if society paints a different image of beauty}. We were posed with a difficult question: When do we feel beautiful? I honestly had no idea how to answer that, not at all. I sat there rummaging through my brain trying to find a response, but to no avail. When I walked into the bathroom to read the notes from my sisters, I didn't even know what to say. All of them had such nice things to say, and in that moment I felt so loved. {I'm honestly kind of surprised I didn't cry.} I don't know, I guess I just love to love other people so much, and I don't expect them to love me in return. And I don't mean that I don't think people love me; I just don't anticipate/require my love to be reciprocated. So whenever I read kind words from someone else, it really makes me happy inside. When I was done reading my messages, we were supposed to look in the mirror and write down on a sticky note what we loved about ourselves. This was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I looked at myself, and my mind when blank. What do I love about myself? Honestly, what I truly love has very little to do with me at all. I love my friends and how they make me feel. I love making people happy. I love always putting others before myself. I love giving advice to those who seek it, and love to reassure them that everything is going to turn out for the better. I love God and the blessings He's given me. I love that even though I have screwed up, Jesus loves me enough to save me. All of these things ran through my mind, and I still wasn't sure what specifically about me I love. Would it be bad to say that I've never really thought about loving myself? I mean, I love my life and everything in it; I'm thankful for it and wouldn't change anything. But that's my life, not so much my self. Even when I think about my life, I always ponder my purpose and think, "It's not about me." I don't want it to be... Needless to say I was unsure what to write, but I ended it with this: I love that this is only the beginning. This is just the start of a new chapter in my life! I'm surrounded by a new family of sisters! I have a small group and faith community that are amazing! I have incredible friends both here and at home and my love for them only grows stronger every day! As I laughed with my Gammas and danced around the room with Jenn while singing "1234," I realized that our bonds will only grow stronger, and my heart bigger :) My loves back in Richmond, my future sisters, and my Gamma girls, thank you for being a part of my life. You each mean more to me that you could possibly fathom, and I mean that with all of my heart and being. I love you all! Goodnight, dear loves :)

"⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
{1 Corinthians 13:4-7}


"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
{1 Peter 4:8}


"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
{1 John 4:7}

I'm blogging early tonight!

You see, I am about to leave and go to an SAO gamma sleepover :) Fun stuff indeed!

As for what I did today, I went to brunch with Kim and Kristina at D-hall before Kim and I headed over to the last home football game against William & Mary. I had fun :) Then again, I always do when I'm with Kimberly :) We're just so crazy all the time! Bahhh :)

I still can't believe we won! That game was legit intense! My favorite quote of the game: "Get on your knees ref! You're blowing the game!" Hahahahaha! Hooray for the bad calls and hype student sections! That's really all I've done today, and Kyla is about to pick me up. Scratch that, she's here! I love you all! Bye!!!!

There are loud drink people in the penthouse.

I think they're starting to disperse, but sheesh they were being obnoxious. Anyways, today had been good overall. I finished a paper last minute, made a trip to Walmart all by myself, and even did some laundry. {Granted, I had a freshman fail and put in too much detergent and had to turn my room into a giant clothes line, but we don't need to go into that.} Also, I had an absolutely marvelous lunch date with Hannah today :) She is so incredibly sweet and we did a lot of laughing at each other, haha. I think mostly it was her laughing at me, and then I just joined in; but that's okay! I love to laugh :) I wish I could have talked to her for much longer than I did, but sadly I had to go to class. Bum out! Once class was over, I was free to just hang out and take it easy {something I've been longing for all week!}. After my shopping endeavor, Taylor and I went to Chick-fil-a for dinner, and it was delicious! {I haven't eaten at Chick since coming to college, so I was rather excited.} We discussed a wide range of topics, including how much we didn't miss high school, haha. It's so true though! I cannot imagine being back in those hallways and dealing with the constant drama from various peers and administrators. But enough about that, it's all in the past now.... I spent a majority of my time tonight in Courtney's room watching Harry Potter and Willy Wonka with her, Danielle, and Kelsey (and Colleen for a bit). That was very entertaining. Aside from the films, I got to eat some yummy candy and hear Courtney serenade a poster of some male celebrity {I can't remember his name}. She sounded crazy, not gonna lie. Haha! But yes, the movie festivities just ended almost an hour ago, and now I am showered and ready for bed. Tomorrow is packed full of plans! I better get some shut eye! Goodnight sweet loves!

^"26 Then God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.'

 ²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them.

 ²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'
 ²⁹ Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.' And it was so.
 ³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good..."

{Genesis 1: 26-31}

Encrypted promise.

Engulfed in a cloudy aura of white.
Nothing is clearly visible.
Nothing shifts into focus.
Sense of time is lost--
emotions polluted
by what is unfamiliar.
Nothing here is as you know,
yet it you are not unnerved--
not any more.
Internal though is indecipherable--
illegible and foreign.
Trapped in the continuum,
you are directionally perplexed.
You spin in an attempt
to keep pace with the revolving cage.
Grabbing at your scalp,
you are prepared to fall to your knees--
to erase the chaos from your vision,
when it stops...
The gates are opened.
Love pours out.
What was lost,
has now returned--
gifted back to you through grace.
You reach for what is unattainable--
desiring nothing more
than to capture it for keepsake.
Surely to hold it in a jar
would prevent it from wandering astray.
But the human mind is misleading--
blind to seemingly invisible reality.
This light is forever accessible,
and always obtainable,
for those who seek it.
For those who persevere,
this kingdom is theirs.
Forever.
Always.

And for all eternity.

Throwback.

Someone please build me a time machine...

Please and thank you!

I've lost something

since coming to college. I don't know what it is, but I feel like it's something vital-- something I'm going to miss. Worse though, I fear that it is something that played an important role in my close relationships with friends. I don't know why I feel this way, but it's been looming over me like a thundercloud over the course of today. Perhaps it can be found upon my return home. Maybe I'm just delusional. Or it could be that I really have lost a part of myself over the course of this life transition. If you've noticed a change in me, can you let me know what it is? I'm being serious. If anything about me has changed over the past three months, do not hesitate to bring it to my attention. It doesn't have to be bad or negative, but it can be. I just want to pinpoint what sparked this feeling, and I think an outside perspective would really help. Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant; that wasn't my intention...

And for those who are interested, here's the daily run-down:

• Woke up at 10:45.
• Awesome lunch date with Stina.
• First class canceled: worked on Justice Team application.
• PSYC
• Returned to the room and finished/submitted JT application.
• Met up with Brandi for a lovely dinner date.
• Came back to the room: had a great conversation with an awesome friend :)
• Went to Taylor's room and had some legit talk-time.
• Came back to the room to work on the paper I've been neglecting.
• Took a shower.
• Still haven't finished that paper. Eh... I'll do it tomorrow.

Goodnight dear loves! Pleasant dreams!

down & UP!

Today was kind of a roller coaster. All morning I could not stop stressing out over registration. And when it was finally time to register, even more of the classes I had planned on taking were full. I literally almost cried. I only had signed up for 12 credits when I had to go to my government class, and I refuse to take less that 15. Thus, as soon as I got back to my room, I registered for another class, even though it sounds rather dreadful. It's an English class centered on the topic of capitalism. Need I say more? Hopefully I can get an override into the anthropology class I need so that I can drop that English class, but we shall see! It really wasn't until my dinner date with Betsey that I started to feel more optimistic. I do love Betsey :) Very much in fact! I seriously believe I have the two greatest small group leaders ever! Bahhh :) But yes, Betsey certainly gave me encouraging advice, and I am so very thankful for it! I just love her! After we said our goodbyes, I went to check my mailbox. Guess what?! My white TOMS have arrived! Eeeeeep! I am going to decorate them and make them look all pretty and decked-out with SAO stuff! I am quite excited, needless to say :) When I got back to the room, I wasted a fair amount of time on facebook and whatnot before Kristina came by to visit. I thoroughly enjoyed talking and hanging out with her :) Oh! And we're both going to see Harry Potter at midnight next week! Eeep! Technically her and her friend are seeing it at 12:03 and Taylor and I are seeing it at 12:08, but it's essentially midnight! Haha. So yes, we are quite excited about that. As for the rest of my evening, I did my reading for SOCI and am now ready for bed. Tomorrow shall be rather stressful. In addition to a writing assignment due Friday that I just found out about today, I also have to finish my IV Justice Team application. Ahhh! So much to do! I need to get some quality sleep before embarking on these endeavors during the hours of tomorrow {technically today}. Goodnight my beloved friends! I love you!

"¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake. ⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows. ⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever."

{Psalm 23}

I'll make this short

because I'm tired and frustrated over this ridiculous process of registering for classes. As I may have mentioned yesterday, the ideal schedule I wanted is no longer possible. The classes filled up and now I'm scrambling to find new ones. It kind of sucks being a freshman, just saying. Other than that, today consisted of a lovely lunch date with Kari, a nap in the library, a canceled GCOM class, and yet another nap in Miller Hall before PSYC. Oh, and I also got to spend some quality time with my big, whom I love :) It's too bad we had to go to a government movie though. I mean I suppose it was relatively interesting, but still... Sorry about all of the complaining. I'm just stressed and kind of bummed out over everything. I need thanksgiving break! I need rest, and I need a hug....

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'”
{Mark 6:31}


"In vain you rise early
   and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
   for he grants sleep to those he loves."
{Psalm 127:2}

Fact: I'm wearing a onesie :)

Oh what a Monday. I almost fell asleep in my first two classes, but I guess that's to be expected these days. It happened on the reg... Oh, and I took a nap in one of the library's comfy chairs in between lunch and government. I actually legit fell asleep, which shocked me. Thank the Lord for the "alarm only" volume setting on cell phones; it really is a life saver! Speaking of government, I turned in my second midterm today for that class. Please pray I do well! When I came back to the dorm, I was so happy to discover that MY TWINS WERE BACK! Brittany and Brianna had been gone all weekend and I missed them an awful lot! After talking to them for a little bit, I came into my room to check on the classes I wanted to register for next semester {even though I can't technically sign up until Wednesday}. Yeah, so how about I'll have to take religions of the world at 5 PM, and every single anthropology class was filled! I need that class as a prerequisite darn it! Ugh! Anyways, now I need to pick another class. I am quite bummed. After that ordeal, I worked on some PSYC homework before going to small group. Tonight we went through Galatians 6, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I specifically loved that we talked about carrying each other's burdens and we even paired off to share 1) the person in our life who we trusted the most to share out burdens with and 2) we shared out burdens with each other, and then prayed for one another. That was awesome, to just be vulnerable and share the things that are weighing on your heart with a fellow daughter of Christ. Something that I realized I need to work on, though, is giving my struggles over to Christ and not insisting upon handling everything with my mere human abilities. At the end of the day, my efforts won't measure up to what He can do for me. Why is it, then, that I am so stubborn? I think that's something that a lot of us can relate to, and I know that for me it will be an ongoing battle. I'm certainly not an image of perfection, but I will pray that my stubborn pride takes a back seat to the promises given by Jesus. Goodnight my lovely loves :) Pleasant dreams!

"¹ Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
{Galatians 6:1-2}

"Want some candy?"

I woke up this morning at 7:45 to get ready for church. Steph picked me up at approximately 8:35, and we drove to Aletheia only to find that we were extremely early. So, naturally, we decided to go to Starbucks to kill some time! I got a grande six pump earl grey tea latte and a piece of very berry coffee cake :) Yum! The two little kids behind us in line were so cute! Ahh! Steph and I couldn't even handle it :) Anyways, We made it to church in plenty of time, and the service was very good indeed. I would say it was humbling in that it brought attention to the many things we do to sin against God, yet it was not condemning because of the acknowledgement of just exactly how much Jesus did for us! I seriously cannot wait until I meet Him. I just want to look at Him and ask what His life was like and what it felt like to carry the burden of all of our sin. That shall be one crazy conversation! So yes... After I was dropped off at my dorm, I soon left with Danielle and Susanne to go to E-hall for some brunch. I saw my sisters, Brandi and Courtney, there! I loved that :) I also love that I got to eat delicious blueberry pancakes while sipping on sweet tea :) Upon returning to the room, I talked to Andrea for a bit, did my SOCI homework, and started a little project :) Then it was time for my last candidate class for SAO! We did this fun little scavenger-hunt type thing where we got to share the love and word of God with others :) Twas fun! I went from there to get dinner, but I went by myself because everyone else had other plans. It's okay though, I ran into Abbey and Rachel from Hermitage at TDU, and they invited me to sit with them :) That made me feel better. Then, I came back to the room to finish my take-home government exam and do my reading for my writing class. And now that I have showered and am finishing up this post, I am going to call it a night. Sweet dreams, dear loves :)

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
{Matthew 17:20}


¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
{John 15:1-8}

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

{Need I say more? :D}

Today was lovely :) Once I got up and dressed, I met up with Nicole and Rachel for some Starbuck's before going on an excursion to Walmart.... where I purchased an Eore onesie and a giant pack of sharpies, haha! We had fun :) Once we got back on campus, we tried to go to E-hall for a late lunch, but it was closed. Festival was also closed. Long story short, we all lost a punch. Womp womp! It's okay though, Nicole and I got some food from Quizno's before I came back to my room to work on my take home exam for government. I was working on it for quite some time, and before I knew it it was after 7. I didn't want to  walk to go get foos because it's freezing outside, so I had a pizza delivered.... for just myself. Haha! It was a small, mind you, but I still felt like a fatty. Doesn't matter though! I ate it all up and it was so good! Hahaha :) While I was enjoying my party-of-one dinner, I watched Beauty and the Beast. I do love that move :) I may or may not have bought the Jump5 version of that song on iTunes.... Don't judge :) Then, before watching Dirty Dancing with Susanne, Danielle, Courtney, and Colleen, I had a short but very sweet skype date with my lovely Heather Jean :) In approximately 20 hours, she will be embarking on one of the greatest adventures of her life...

My dearest Heather,
I cannot believe you are leaving for India in less than 24 hours! I am so excited for you and I know that God is going to do amazing things not just in you, but through you. You are so incredibly filled with the Lord's presence, and I need not remind you of how incredibly inspiring and amazing you are. These next two weeks are going to provide with the most unforgettable, life-changing experiences, and I hope that you love every second of it! Scratch that, I know that you will love every second of it! God is going to use your passion and joy to minister to everyone you encounter on this trip, I know He will :) You truly are a loyal and faithful servant :) I am so proud of you! I'm so happy I get to call you my best friend :) I will be praying for you every day, love! I love you with all of my heart! {Always, forever, MORE, the end!}
Love, Stephanie :)

^"19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
{Matthew 28:19-20}


Now, brace yourself for randomness....

I notice I make this face a lot when I skype....

I think it makes me look Asian, haha. I kind of like it :) Goodnight my loves! Oh, and happy daylight savings!

I think this post shall be arranged in list format.

Ready, okay!

Thinks that made/make me happy:
1. Wall posts from friends just to say "I love you," "I miss you," or simply "Hello!"
2. Leaving my friends wall posts like that.
3. Skype dates.
4. Making people's eyeballs leak.
5. Having my smiles list posted on Richelle's blog :)
6. Discussing aspects of faith.
7. Singing worship with my hands held high in the air :)
8. My small group.
9. Only having one class on a Friday.
10. Hot apple cider.
11. Harry Potter movies.
12. Blogs.
13. My friends in general, and seeing them excited/happy :)

Realizations from today:
1. I am obsessed with social networking.
2. My "followers" on here are not the only ones reading my blog, haha. {I wonder how they find it?!}
3. I am not that great of putting my thoughts into words, especially if it's on-the-spot. I really should work on that.
4. I believe God is calling me back to Brazil this summer, and I am really excited about it! I told my mom and she seemed fully supportive. It just hit me tonight during IV large group {which ironically was about missions}. I just felt like God was telling me that there is still more I can do there, and it made me really anxious and excited to go back! I was initially very worried about the cost aspect, but a price is merely a number. And if God truly does want me to go back and serve Him in Brazil, then everything will work out!

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; 
   I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."
{Psalm 32:8}


"For this God is our God for ever and ever;
   he will be our guide even to the end."
{Psalm 48:14}


"The LORD will guide you always;
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
   and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
   like a spring whose waters never fail."
{Isaiah 58:11}

I love you all! Goodnight!

I want to adopt a child.

When I get older, I want have at least one of my children be adopted. Where from? I don't know, but there is always time to figure it out! I'm thinking maybe China, India, Brazil, or who even knows! I just remember those incredibly adorable and loving kids at the Seeds of Hope orphanage and how much I wished I could have taken them home with me. One day, I will!