I thought I'd share this...

before the stress of homework kicks in.

Today in my Intro to Humanities class, we discussed how we can judge others and how we formulate our preconceieved notions. By looking at a person, you think that you can correctly assume some characteristics about their personality or lifestyle; but often times that is proven false. Personally, I often buy into the crazy teenager stereotype when it come to my school peers. I was quite surprised, then, when we took an anoymous survey of the number of people who have and haven't used/ partaken in weed, alcohol, and sex:

I am not on this earth to judge; it's such a tragic human flaw to even try.

Abyss.

Iris hazed in a cloud of murk.

Where are thine wandering eyes?

A million miles beyond;

leaving reality is its wake.

Secularilty holds the equivalence of a pence.

Dehydrated, they return.

Though the film is gone,

sense of reasoning has also evaded.
Oxygen; limited.
Pressure; piercing.
Stress; suffocating.

Scream; silent.

Introvert, where are thy overt travelers?

Today...

has been very good for me :) Talking to dear friends; dancing; eating! I mean, what else could a girl ask for? Haha. So, I'm sitting here thinking about how I sometimes dwell on the negative aspects of my life, and I fail to remember the crazy, fun, and awkward moments that keep me going. So this is but a mere glimpse of some fond memories:

A look back; glancing forward.

Sitting beneath the lunar reflection of the night previous...
Water to the brim.
Emotions can no longer be concealed.
Fire embers in sunken sockets.
The anger you stir continues to burn grudgingly.
Anxious tremors consuming my core.
My emotions a hurricane, destructing inner fibers;
it's eye my life source.
Instability, reality...

The days of morrow...
Life never gets easier, but maybe the way we cope does.
An act so small can bring forth hope.
Maybe just a fraction, but hope none the less.
It doesn't take much to overwhelm me,
and the smallest shroud of cruelty can send me over the edge.
But just a little luck may bring me internal serenity.
I found two four-leaf clovers this afternoon;
maybe I can get through this stress unscathed after all :)

I'm sorry...

if I've ever let you down.

I'm sorry that I don't share my time equally.
I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry I'm not always there.
I'm sorry if I made you feel forgotten.
I'm sorry that my brain is often incompetent.
I'm sorry for anything and everything I've done;
that has left you upset, frustrated or disappointed.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

It's all mush.

brain: off

homework: incomplete

eyelids: drooping

energy: draining

body: shutdown

Oh, what a day. Went to bed at 2:30 am, left for the airport at 5:30 am, got back to Richmond at 3:30 pm, homework, dance rehersal, and more homeowrk; though I have failed to finish it. I described my brain on facebook as being "mush" though I honestly feel as though my skull is hollow; only airy thoughts escape my mind and mouth. To sleep or not to sleep; who would have ever thought such a question would present itself? I suppose the true question, though, pertains to my priority; school work or mental health. Ugh, I may very well crash and burn. Help, help, help...

Human Perspective

We each live our own life; figuratively speaking. We see the same sky, walk on the same earth, feel the same wind, think and feel with the same organs. How amazing is it, then, that every individual turns out so unique; so different. When I looked up at the sky today, and couldn't help but smile at its vast beauty, a thought struck me: Does anyone else around here find this sight to be as incredible as I do?! Looking around, I could see that clearly I was the only one soaking it all up. But the sky is the same, it isn't distorted or diagramed in differently for their eyes than it is for mine. But rather they are seeing without actually looking. How does our brain fail to analyze something right in front of you! I suppose it's similar to one of my prayers tonight during worship (which, p.s., was AMAZING Nikki). It was the first time I actually gave thanks to God for the talents and opportunities he has given me in my life; THE FIRST TIME! How had I not seen these things as something to be thankful for before now? Even though its been spoken in front of me, to me, I did not allow it to resonate. Failure to see that which is obvious; it's a most tragic human flaw. Failure to know one's self; another more common theme in our lives. There's a reason, I think,  that only God knows and remembers your every thought, movement, and emotion. He allows others to bring out the parts of ourselves that are not yet known. There's a friend of mine who possesses one of the most beautiful hearts of anyone that I have ever met. Just talking to her can make me feel more at peace. Even when my body and mind are swimming with stress, it can be momentarily forgotten; for I known I'm not in this alone. God places people like that in our lives so that we can have a tangible rock to keep our heads above water. After all, if we could handle this life on our own, then why would need our faith?

Paving the Way

...to happiness.

I love my lovely ladies at weag. You all put me in such an amazing place in my heart that makes me

want to skip thorugh a field of daisies. And day after day I can tell you how much I love you, but I'm not sure that you may truly understand. I think about y'all all day. Every day. When I'm around you all I feel safe, at home, loved. Ah! I cannot imagine my life without any of you! Thank you for allowing to end my day on a high note :)

Hard Pressed Emotions

Today, thus far, I have felt physically and emotionally awkward. In government, we were just sitting there taking notes when all of a sudden I felt incredibly anxious and unnerved. My stomach tightened, I felt my fingers begin to shake, and it felt as though my chest was being compressed back towards my spine. Needless to say, I felt completely and utterly befuddled. I can only think it to be the result of stress and bottled up emotions. I need a way to just let it all out... let it all go. Lord, I do need help.

I want to go back to those days of being care-free...