Spring Break

Everyone else:













Me:

Because my professors were all like:

And I have to work because I'm poor....

So trying figure out when I'm going to get all of my stuff done is like:

And all I want to do is...

So by the time it's all said and done, I'm going to be left feeling like:

So yeah, happy Spring Break. Here's to hoping you all actually get one. I'll be crying over my laptop. Peace.

Snapshot of an overwhelmed, broke, too-busy college student.

And there it is, my set-in-stone, weekly commitments in calendar form. The white space is left over for meals, studying, sleeping, homework, various out-of-class assignments, and sorority socials/Bible studies/fundraisers/service events/etc.... It's a lot. Lunch sometimes doesn't happen. Dinner more often doesn't happen(due to a lack of time and financial resources). Naps have to happen or I'd lose my sanity. All-nighters are sporadic, but not uncommon. My hair never gets done. Forget eyeliner or even mascara. My wardrobe is far from glamorous. Jeans and a sweatshirt/quarter-zip anyone? Social activities have to be scheduled more often than not, and all I want to do on the weekends is sleep and veg-out on my big blue sofa under my big red blanket. This is college life. Well, at least my life as a college junior.... Derp.

Musical Pick-me-ups

We all need them sometimes. Here are some of mine. Whether comforting, inspiring, or feel-good, you just can't really feel down when you listen to them :)

Philippians

Yesterday, I did not make it to RISE for service. Instead, my dear Kelly and I went to Panera and, over bagels and hot tea, went through the book of Philippians together :) Twas a lovely time indeed, and great discussion was had. I decided to share some of verses that stuck out to me during that time; perhaps they will speak to you all as they did to me!

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." 
{Philippians 1:27}

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." 
{Philippians 2:3-4}

"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life." 
{Philippians 2:14-16}

"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." 
{Philippians 3:13-14}

"Only let us live up to what we have already attained." 
{Philippians 3:16}

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." 
{Philippians 3:20}

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." 
{Philippians 4:9}

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." 
{Philippians 4:12-13}

The Draft

Apparently I started writing this on September 15, 2010.... I never finished it, nor did I ever post it. I am not sure why that is, but here is what my thoughts were...

I miss talking to you. Nothing is wrong, but sometimes I need that guidance in my life. You always know what to say, and you spoke from both wisdom and experience. I wish I had someone like that here, although no one will ever replace you. I love you too much for that.

I have changed.

Silk to stone,
a decision not of my own.
A load unseen,
a stress untold.
Too heavy to lift,
not so to uphold.
A face newly painted,
a job well glossed.
Those unacquainted with the old,
not knowing the novelty.
Neither false nor forged,
no charade in play.
Worry and concern,
a constant thought.
I am me,
new and old.
The balance of she,
not yet fold.
I have changed,
this I see.
But both are she,
and she is me.

Future husband,

I am very excited to meet you; although part of me really believes that I already have. I just don't know you like that yet. My theory is that you live in Richmond because, well, I've been at JMU three years and nothing has struck the radar (not even close). I imagine you'll let me do semi-embarassing and borderline obnoxious things around you, and my guess is that you'd even join in. Like, maybe we'll be sitting there watching Pitch Perfect when all of a sudden I start trying to belt it out, and then you'll come in and try to hit the base notes. We probably won't sound all that great together, but we'll just pat ourselves on the back for even trying to harmonize. Maybe you'll help me saran-wrap a car or attempt some Ferly & taYao choreography with me. Who knows?! The sky's the limit, right? I'm thinking it will be, you won't be one to squash my spontaneity or ambition. We'll make each other laugh, and keep each other in line. Every time you tell me I'm pretty, I'll either deny it or tell you that you're too kind     because a lot of the time I look like a hot mess. That won't phase your opinion, though, which I know I'll appreciate more than you will comprehend. You'll love that I love my youth, and that will make me love you all the more.  Maybe you'll even love them too, and that will just be a bonus. You will love the Lord, and you will help grow closer to Him while you also grow closer to me. You'll help guide me, and you'll pick me up when I stumble. I, of course, will do the same for you. You will appreciate my ever-endearing sarcasm, and I suppose you'll probably bring in some of your own too. However, you'll care about me enough to not push it too far, given my irrational sensitivity. But you won't judge me for that, and that too I shall be grateful for. Our respect for one another will be mutual, and we will make sure we genuinely listen to one another. You'll understand my girl-crush on Christina Aguilera, and I'll accept your man-crush on anyone who isn't Justin Bieber or Taylor Lautner. We won't grow tired of one another, but we also won't be that PDA couple that makes others uncomfortable. You will support me in my career endeavors, and that support will be gladly reciprocated :) You'll make me happy, and I'll tell you every day how much you mean to me. Even now I think about you fairly often, I just don't know who you are yet. I know you're going to be great, though, and that makes me eager for life to come :) Goodnight!

Baggage

In life, you journey with others. Your family, your peers, your friends, etc. Like with any venture, you carry with you the things you need, the things you think you need, and all the extra baggage you just can't seen to leave behind. When you put all that weight together and toss it on your back, all it just feels like baggage     annoying, heavy, unnecessary baggage.

Now, there are moments (rare for some, maybe not so much for others) when someone you're walking with takes a moment to relieve themselves by throwing down their knapsack. We expect this; it's a natural occurrence. And anyone who has ever established human relationships prepares themselves to help their fellow man shoulder the load     take some of the baggage and help them carry on despite the struggle. We do it because we care for the person and/or because we feel that it is a moral responsibility of ours to help. Either way, we know what needs to be done. Some might hold one handle while the other person holds another. Some may sling the bag over their shoulders. Others might result to dragging. Hey, whatever best floats your kayak.

The issue comes when, unexpectedly the baggage is dropped right on top of your foot. Ouch. And unless you walk prepared with some steel-toed boots, you are seemingly left with two options. You can externalize your prevalent physical discomfort, or you can suppress your vocalizers and simply walk along with a throbbing big toe that few (if any) will acknowledge     leaving you alone in your struggle with no outlet.

Say you let out your inner "yelp." You let the complaints and brain-stream thoughts flow free. I imagine the person who dropped the load would internalize some of that and be left peeved, if not offended. Unless you are walking this life journey blind or totally clueless, that's something you would pick up on. So what are you left with now? Additional baggage. Baggage that was not originally yours but has tumbled its way into your suitcase; the evidence of this event being found in your swollen, more-sensitive-than-usual big toe. Should have strapped on those steel-toed boots, ol' chap. Well, there's hind-sight for ya.

The question you're left with is this: Will my journey accompanist come and take back what they dropped in your luggage? Or do you need to start learning how to really lift with your legs? (Because let's be honest, almost no one has truly mastered that.) Better yet, how long should you let this burden get to you? I mean, it may currently be dragging you down or hindering progress, but how do you put an end to that? Do you learn to deal? Do you unload some of your own weight onto the person who graciously heave-hoed onto your tiny lower extremity? Is that too spiteful? Perhaps even petty? Maybe you can slingshot the excess onto the nearest cactus so it can deflate and dissolve... Maybe.

Luck may even work in you favor, and the bulk won't spontaneously boomerang back to nail you in the forehead. If going this route, it's probably best to go with a slingshot method     shot-put the nonsense as far as it will go and then pace yourself for additional distancing. You cannot ball-and chain yourself, even if the weight seems to attach itself there. Because if you let the packs of others be shoveled onto you without consent or compromise, you'll find yourself becoming subject to that baggage     that annoying, heavy, unnecessary baggage.