To be loved

is a truly amazing feeling!

Tonight I had a retreat with with my ΣΑΩ candidates {and a few sisters as well!}, and I can't properly describe on here how at peace I was. I was able to spend an evening with some of the most incredible girls ever, fellow daughters of Christ. We snacked, crafted, Mary-Kay-ed, worshiped, and discussed how we are found beautiful in the eyes of God {even if society paints a different image of beauty}. We were posed with a difficult question: When do we feel beautiful? I honestly had no idea how to answer that, not at all. I sat there rummaging through my brain trying to find a response, but to no avail. When I walked into the bathroom to read the notes from my sisters, I didn't even know what to say. All of them had such nice things to say, and in that moment I felt so loved. {I'm honestly kind of surprised I didn't cry.} I don't know, I guess I just love to love other people so much, and I don't expect them to love me in return. And I don't mean that I don't think people love me; I just don't anticipate/require my love to be reciprocated. So whenever I read kind words from someone else, it really makes me happy inside. When I was done reading my messages, we were supposed to look in the mirror and write down on a sticky note what we loved about ourselves. This was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I looked at myself, and my mind when blank. What do I love about myself? Honestly, what I truly love has very little to do with me at all. I love my friends and how they make me feel. I love making people happy. I love always putting others before myself. I love giving advice to those who seek it, and love to reassure them that everything is going to turn out for the better. I love God and the blessings He's given me. I love that even though I have screwed up, Jesus loves me enough to save me. All of these things ran through my mind, and I still wasn't sure what specifically about me I love. Would it be bad to say that I've never really thought about loving myself? I mean, I love my life and everything in it; I'm thankful for it and wouldn't change anything. But that's my life, not so much my self. Even when I think about my life, I always ponder my purpose and think, "It's not about me." I don't want it to be... Needless to say I was unsure what to write, but I ended it with this: I love that this is only the beginning. This is just the start of a new chapter in my life! I'm surrounded by a new family of sisters! I have a small group and faith community that are amazing! I have incredible friends both here and at home and my love for them only grows stronger every day! As I laughed with my Gammas and danced around the room with Jenn while singing "1234," I realized that our bonds will only grow stronger, and my heart bigger :) My loves back in Richmond, my future sisters, and my Gamma girls, thank you for being a part of my life. You each mean more to me that you could possibly fathom, and I mean that with all of my heart and being. I love you all! Goodnight, dear loves :)

"⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
{1 Corinthians 13:4-7}


"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
{1 Peter 4:8}


"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
{1 John 4:7}