Monday, January 3, 2011

I think I did something

that I should not have done.

Guilt has found a home in my stomach. I said too much and I feel awful about it. I feel like a betrayer, even though that wasn't my intention. I wanted to bring about understanding, but I should have gone about it a different way. Why, why, why did I do that?! I feel awful. I wanted to pick up a phone, make a phone call. I wanted to ask to talk when I got the chance, but I didn't. My mouth was open and I just slammed it shut. I wanted to let all of this out to someone but I didn't. And I wanted to settle the source of the unease, just show up and talk. But I didn't. My heart rate is accelerated and my nerves are harvesting anxiety. I shouldn't have done that, not in that capacity. Will a lack of trust be a consequence for this? What did I just do...

0 comments:

Post a Comment