I think I am legit, flat-out

crazy, at least to some degree. Honestly. I think I'm so dependent on others that when I'm by myself for too long I start to have a mini paranoia session in my brain. I start reading into things too much and drawing conclusions that don't match up with how things actually are, and I start doubting things that have no reason to be doubted. And then I take things too personally when no offense was even hinted at, and I just don't even know. My brain comes to these completely unjustified and unreasonable conclusions and it really is just insane. There's no other way to describe it. It's odd, and the weird thing is that sometimes I believe those messages from my brain, even if only for a fraction of a second. It's said really. I shouldn't be so easily persuaded by things that are so contradictory to everything I actually experience. I realize you all have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about right now, but it's probably better that way. At least that way I don't sound like a complete moron; I just end up looking like a ranting psycho. I suppose I can live with that.

MOVING ON!

Being snowed in wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be. I stayed in my pajamas all day, watched the game-show network and Jerry Springer/Steve Wilkos/Maury with my mom, helped Jennifer construct a puzzle-ball of Hello Kitty, and Jenn and I decorated our Christmas tree while watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas {cartoon edition!}. Here are sone random pictures I took throughout the day. The quality isn't great, but I just needed something to do when I got bored.

I really do love the ornaments on our tree. Most of them we've had ever since I was little, and quite a few were hand-made by us during our elementary school years. Some of my favorites, though, are the Hallmark Disney ones and this one that Matt made back in 1989. It's made to look like a wreathe and there's his school picture in the middle of it {back when he used to actually smile in his school pictures, haha}. Ever since he's been gone, we've placed that particular ornament somewhere very visible on the tree, not remotely hidden or obscured. I suppose it's just nice to see his picture there, since all we really have now are pictures. While I was browsing through facebook yesterday, I came across this picture:

It's from Christmas 2003, and I believe it's the last picture the four of us have together. I miss having him around. I feel like I say that a lot on here, and I'm sorry if it seems a tad redundant. Some times are just more sensitive than others, and I guess the holidays are one of those times. I just wish I could hug him; that would be nice... Oh, it turns out there's a picture from 2004 as well:

We aren't all exactly prepared for the picture {myself in particular}, but that's okay. All of us are together in it, and that's really all that matters to me. Its sentiment is more important than aesthetics.

And now that I've let that wide range of crazy-random emotions out, I think I'm going to read for a bit. It'll be first time reading for fun in quite some time. I wish I had The Host so I could read it. I should have asked my mom to get me a new copy for Christmas. My old copy accidentally got coffee spilled all over it, haha. That isn't a big deal or anything, I just want a new one :) I thoroughly enjoyed the story, so perhaps I'll mention it tomorrow. Goodnight, loves!

Oh, and Brittany showed me this the other night. It's quite entertaining, if you'd like to watch!