I'm trying

but I'm struggling.
Statements of true faith
leave an overwhelming feeling of guilt.
Motivation soon ensues.
Yet the effort that follows
is half-hearted.
Time is not in endless supply.
Short term necessities
bear immediate consequence.
These self-inflicted consequences
will take their toll at the end,
and they will do so in tenfold.
Knowledge of the greater need is known.
Fear of penalty somehow takes priority.
Riddance of these distractions
is presently impossible.
As time progresses
light seemingly dims;
fulfillment takes absence.
My heart still possesses it.
My mind holds that truth.
Now the question is this:
How do I return to living it?