{Joshua 1:9}

"Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Discouraged. That is what I am. It's not in every aspect of my life, only certain parts. Things that I used to want so badly and had a fiery passion for have dimmed sufficiently. Not just that, but I feel so easily defeated these days, like nothing I do gets me any further along. It's more frustrating than anything else. All of the effort that gets put in is essentially worthless once the task has run its course. And the overwhelming sensation of everything being stacked on top of me all at once is mentally and physically draining--new weights constantly being added. All of this frustration and stress has made me especially sensitive, ridiculously so. I was reading my book in the library when a friend came up and knocked the book out of my hand (it was meant to be funny, it wasn't the first time it had been done), and the only response I could muster was a heavy sigh and an eye-roll. When my friend came over to say sorry (since I clearly didn't find it funny), my eyes starting watering up.... Irrational! I couldn't even believe the over-reaction. Even minor statements of sarcasm have caused a slight twinge of offense, which is also irrational because, like I said, it's sarcasm. The motivation is lacking and I'm in this awkward mindset where I want one thing but don't want to miss another. I like what I'm doing but not the stressors that come along with it. The late nights are taking a toll, but there seems to be no way around them. Like I said, discouraged. This verse is really encouraging; I just wish I could allow it to comfort me. I think I might be in a funk, y'all. But the biggest issue is I don't know where to start in regards to fixing it. Better yet, what exactly do I need to be altering?

^"23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts. ²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting."
{Psalm 139:23-24}

This is certainly going to be requiring a great deal of faith on my part. I can't do this alone, dear Father; please help a daughter out. Lord knows I need it!

Goodnight loves.