My 100th post!

It doesn't feel like I've written that many blog entries... Craziness!

I suppose you could say today was a recovery day from the past two weeks. I found myself sleeping in until 12:46 pm. Ridiculous? Absolutely. After getting dressed and whatnot, I was pleasantly surprised to find the mail man on my doorstep with my visa in hand. Hooray! I'm not going to lie, I was starting to worry. And it's valid for 10 years! Needless to say, I am rather stoked. I ate my bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats (even though it was past lunch time) and spent the rest of my day just relaxing and watching a marathon of America's Next Top Model; something I haven't done in a very long time. That show is always so entertaining for some reason. Then, after Jenn and I saw Tyra name the winner, we headed over to my dad's house for dinner. We don't normally go over there on Saturdays, but apparently he's made plans for tomorrow evening. With whom I do not know, but let's not go into that. Anyways, he made grilled shrimp, and it was simply delightful. Then, around 8 or so, I took my sister up to Dick's to get a new mouth guard for field hockey; twas a fun little errand (if I do say so myself). I was planning on meeting up with friends afterwards, but I started to not feel so well. I felt a "bad night" coming on, so I decided it would be best to just take a Motrin and chill out at my casa for the night. I caught myself up on the episodes of True Blood that I had missed, and boy was it crazy! There's so much going on that I had forgotten about, it was hard to keep it all straight. And right now, well, I'm typing this up while watching Silent Library with Jennifer. I just got this awful pain behind my sternum, and I have no idea why. It's rather annoying really, but no worries. On a side note, I feel like I'm constantly in a state of worry. I wish I could help everyone; that's what I really want. I want to put an end to the pain and struggles that are faced by my friends. I want it to all be okay... When will I accept that it's ultimately out of my hands? If I'm being honest, I'll probably never be able to get rid of that feeling, but I need to still place my trust in God. That's becoming a real issue for me. There's just this feeling inside of me that's consistently concerned: If I am not here to look out for this person, then who will be? Who cares enough to notice what's going on? To love this person as much as I do? The answer is blatantly obvious, but the internal nagging fails to cease. How can I suppress this feeling when my desire to help still burns within me?

Proverbs 3:5-8 (NIV)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;

fear the LORD and shun evil.

8 This will bring health to your body

and nourishment to your bones.

In regards to the Fourth of July, I hope you all have a lovely one! I'm not sure what I'll be doing (considering that my mom's in West Virginia, my dad's being sketchy and is doing Lord knows what, and my older sister will more than likely be with Chad), but I'm sure Jennifer and I will find a way to celebrate. I love you all. Goodnight.

A flashback from July 4, 2009.

{sparkler art with taylor}