Renewal.

Tonight was a Holy Spirit service, and I went into it knowing that I had much to pray about... The peace I sought was so graciously poured into me, through prayer and Word. I am so grateful that I do not struggle alone, and that I have amazing friends who bring me back to Christ in my sufferings. Thank You, Father, for your blessings and for the vessels through which you work. Through the tears and hard confessions, your glory will shine and be made evident. Bless You.

I'll go to sleep tonight,

hopefully with some peace of mind. That God is in control and that I never will be; that He never leaves, even when I do. Noting that not everything is a contest to be won, and that wallowing accomplishes nothing. That jealousy is not an attractive trait, and pride is something I need to surmount. That God comes before ministry on the list of priorities, and I've gotten that horribly askew. At some point the excuses need to end and I have to own up to my lack of upkeep. And just the same, I need to remind myself that God does not desire me to come before him covered in bruises of self-abuse, but rather with a genuinely humble and repentant heart. This world leaves enough scars of it's own, I need not add to it when I have a Father who wants to wipe them clean. I need remember that these awful occurrences are not created by God, but by Satan. And even though he crept his way into the cracks of our brokeness, God will pull us out of demise and strengthen us to where the most unbearable burdens benefit our spiritual lives-- bettering us in ways that may long go unrecognized or without due credit to Him. No human will ever be strong enough to cure brokeness, for our outstretched hands are feeble at best when staged for comparison. Who am I compared to God? What accomplishments could possible stand on par? I know what I like to tell myself, whether out of self-assurance or confidence, but I am terribly mistaken. It's hard to admit, but in my heart I know it's all true.

Today was truly a day... filled with slaps to the face and borderline breakdowns, but dwelling in upset and hiding behind lies will get me nowhere. Stephanie (self), accept the truth and promise that is given. Let God have his way. Yes, it hurts. And yes, you are unsettled. But this is beyond you, and God wants to bring you peace. Let him help you. And maybe then you can truly help others...

The most comforting words I heard all night:

"That's what sisters are for."

I love you so much, Stephanie Cancro. Thank you for being there for me, always.

I lost my first $5 at the internship today...

You see about this week's verses... Not only did I not have them memorized, I didn't even have them written down. Fail. Oh well, I said all the other ones just fine, so no other money was lost. It was just kind of a bummer, though, since my goal was to lose no money at all. But you know, there are bigger issues in life, so I'll just let that one go :)

Post-internship was designated nap time. Glory. I got to sleep for an hour before it was time to get up and ready for the Best Week of Seek event, the Flying Squirrels game! We had about 25 people come, which was awesome! At one point, Tony, Emily, Shannon, and myself tried to start the wave (as in we literally got up and went over to the far side of the stadium and yelled out a countdown). Yeah, not only did that epically fail, but Tony ended up scurrying away in embarrassment and on the ground laughing hysterically in the hallway (is that what they call it?) by the concessions. I even laughed to the point of a coughing spurt. Needless to say, it was humorous. We thought the Squirrels were going to make a comeback in the last inning! They were so close! But unfortunately the opposing team made a double play, and we were dunzo. Oh well, at least we were in good company :)

After the game, there was a small hang-out at Scoob's with Elsbeth, Kathryn, Tony, and myself. We watched America's Got Talent, played matchmaker, talked about life, and exchanged funny stories :) It was just a chill, good time, and I loved it :) I just cannot get over how amazing the people in my life are! I just am so thankful! SO much love, for everyone! Goodnight :)

Mind afloat.

A thought. A stream. A hope. A glimmer. Yes? No? A wonder.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I'm a little sickling, stuffy and pale...

These meds aren't working, what the haillll. ("I'm a Little Teapot" tune? Yep.)

Well, after only 4 hours of sleep this morning I woke up with killer throat pains. I made myself green tea with honey so that I could get some more sleep, and officially woke up at 12. I still wasn't feeling well, though, so I spent my entire day laying in bed while drinking tea (of both the hot and cold variety). At least, that's what I did until it was time to go to my dad's for dinner. Even after we ate, I went upstairs and took a 20 minute power nap before Bible study, which went pretty well tonight. We had more leaders than middle schoolers, but there was some pretty good discussion :) Afterwards, it was time for the Best Week of Seek event for tonight which was Sweet Frog :) Even though I was super sluggish, I had a nice time getting to see everyone! I love how many people have been coming to things this week; it really is exciting! Once everyone left, though, I decided it would be best if I just came back home. I just took a shower and I'm hoping that helps a little. And since I have to be up early for internship in the morning, I think I should try to get some decent rest. Well, here goes nothing! Goodnight loves :)

Scavenging RVA.

Church in the morning--Sunday school runnin' and third service goin'. A trip through Cookout and a three hour nap to help out with the much-dreaded bad day left me ready for some dinner at padre's and the Best Week of Seek scavenger hunt!

It was legit. My team had excellent charisma and strategy :) No, we did not win, but we did pretty darn good!

These girls are so great :) I think my two highlights from our endeavor were 1) the very polite and concise way in which Natalia asked for the napkins, straw, and ketchup when going through the Burger King drive thru and 2) Julia and Jenna successfully coning at McDonald's despite the man's attempt to thwart us! Haha, he knew it was coming :) But yes, the whole night was very fun! I love my youth lovessssss :D

After the hunt, a bunch of us hung out at the BK Lounge ;) It was very entertaining, simply because there was so much laughter and silly chatter. The owner, however, rudely addressed us and informed us of how much she did NOT appreciate the coning and asking for random items at their drive thru window, and threatened to ban us from her establishment if it happened again.... Hahahahaha. Honestly, she was just a little too hostile. I believe John said it best when he suggested that she had a "stick up her butt." It's okay though. Should we no longer be welcomed at BK, we'll just go down the street to McDonald's. Problem solved! Haha :)

J. Blair, Elsbeth, and I hung out for a bit after that. We didn't quite make it through even half of 8 Mile before we all eventually called it a night. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself :) I even aided Jonathan on his trip back home. Yep, he held on to my window frame while riding his bike so he could get up the hill faster (I sure don't blame him). It made me a tad nervous, but he made it unscathed, haha.

In other random news, a group of us pranked Scoob a few months ago by dumping a 40 pound bag of bird seed in his front yard. The goal was to have his yard filled with birds, but we never heard him mention anything about it. Thus, we assumed that the prank was a total flop. Well, I found out tonight that we actually succeeded in 1) killing a good chunk of his grass and 2) causing corn stalks to grow!

Hahahahaha! Prank, WIN! I'm so happy something funny came out of that, you have no idea :)

Oh yeah! One of the things on the scavenger hunt list was to get a  cut out from the BE or Matter productions, and guess whose I got to keep.....

Yes, it's Jesse Woon! Hahahaha. I never knew him when his hair was that long, but this thing just makes my life. Haha. I think I should take it to school with me ;) Goodnight loves!