I wish I knew

the processes of your thoughts;
the illusions of your iris;
the hurt of your heart;

the method of this madness;

explanation.

Day after day;

emptiness after emptiness;

judgement after judgement;
deteriorating.
Satisfaction in deprivation;
victory in loss;
anger in controversy;
pain.
I am conscious of my words;
yet they remain unspoken.
Fear of hatred;
of inflicting damage;
on you;
on me;
on what we have.

Help...