"Daddy, I just want to be with you."

It's been a long time since I've approached God just to simply spend time with Him. And, if I'm being honest, even then it may have been out of desperation or a sense of obligation. I am not too proud to admit that, and I certainly take no pride in that statement. I know that God loves me; that is a truth I do not doubt, for the Bible makes it clear. Because of this, however, I almost expect God to do all of the leg work. I wait for Him to give me a sign, to provide me with opportunities, or to give me a shove in the right direction. And when I come to Him with prayer, I have an agenda of people I want to lift up, injustices that are in need of tending, and burdens that are being carried. Sitting alone with God, simply talking to Him, or, better yet, listening to Him, is something I have neglected to do in quite some time. And I think part of the reason for this is that sometimes I'm ashamed of where I feel like I stand in my relationship with God. When I feel like I have failed and fallen to shambles, it as though I feel like God's too disappointed in me to speak to me. As foolish as that may sound, that is me being honest. I want to be a daughter that feels comfortable, in any situation, coming to my Father and just to cling to Him and really be with Him. Though God may not like some of my actions on this earth, He still loves me, and He waits for me with open arms. I suppose what this means then, is that I need to accept this truth that is known in my brain, and embed it in my heart. The love between my Father and I may not exactly resemble that of others' relationships with Him, but it has the potential to be something truly beautiful when I maintain my end. I cannot merely receive this incredible grace, love, and mercy of my Father without reciprocation. I need to actively love, worship, praise, and communicate with Him without fear of rejection. Father I do love you, and I really do want to be with you.