Does burning my fortune make me look like a pyro?

School synopsis: Mock Congress went pretty well. Why we spent over an hour debating whether or not marijuana should be legalized for Americans over 18.... ehh, I couldn't tell you. Anyways, I had my first day back in dance class since monday. It wasn't too bad; a technical/modern day. Hey, it beats cross training! However, I did have to suppress my body's urge to pass out and or regurgitate. It was a weird feeling, and I did not like it.

I have my car back now, but I'm really enjoying driving Lovely. I wonder if that's going to be a problem; hmmm... At any rate, I went on a lovely little downtown rendez-vous with Annemarie this evening :) We had dinner at Elwood Thompson's (which I had never been to before) and she drove me around for some Richmond city sight seeing :) I'm glad one of us knows their way around down there; because I certainly don't! Haha :) While we were at a stop sign, I definitely saw one of my cheering coaches walking with her boyfriend. But the funny part was that they were both carrying dixie cups. Yeah, they started the night off early; like 6 pm! I almost texted her, but I don't how much she would have appreciated that, haha.

As 7:15 approached, Annemarie and I made our way to church for the "After the Rain." I am so incredibly proud of my loves :) You make me smile just watching you all! Truth: I kind of wish I had been up their with y'all, but I did enjoy watching it; so it's all good :) Afterwards, a small group of us went to P.F. Chang's for some late night food. It was yummy; well, everything except for the green tea noodles that is. The consistency was so awkward, and the sauce kind of tasted like mayonnaise. I don't know, I'm just glad the waitress warned me not to get is as my meal! Haha, Jesus was looking out for me ;) The best part, though, is that Ellory is getting the leftovers... Ha! So awful... But, before we left, we were given fortune cookies. They were nothing short of delicious, and I may or may not have set my fortune on fire.... Only God can judge me! Haha :)

Short parking lot chat with Heavs= happiness :) Simplistic, humorous, and a dash of lovely randomness :)

Quote of the Night: "Wow. It really does burst with flavor! It's like dancing on my tongue. Oh! It just did a pirouette!" Haha, thank you Elysia. You may or may night have made my night; just saying :)

Snippets from today.

Physics: Class was three hours long. We ate lots of food and watched "The Core."

Break Time: Threw together a Mock-Congress speech while I watched "Are you Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" and made my rounds on Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, and Yahoo.

Government: Our class started Mock-Congress. This one group is trying to pass a bill to legalize marijuana. Needless to say, they are going to get hammered with questions and criticisms tomorrow morning; and I shall be partaking.

Dinner: I went to Casa Grande with Jennifer and my mom. It was delicious; as always. And no matter how not-hungry I think I am, I always demolish my food. I also get the same thing every time I go; combination number 9 dinner with the taco soft :)

After dinner: I wasted even more time on the internet. However, I took some time for a bit of creativity. I won't go into too much detail, but let me just say that my gold ink was starting to irk me. I mean really, I don't understand why the gold ink and the stylus can't just be friends. Trying to use the two of them together is one of the most tedious and time-consuming tasks... whatevskies :)

10:00 pm: I venture over to Kelly's for some coffee and discussion; we have important matters at hand :) We also had a "Who can crack more bones?" contest and watched some old WEAG dance footage. Oh Nikki Medas, we do love you :) Also, we had fun laughing at each other for saying words that don't exist; which were formulated while we were trying to say two different words at one time, haha. For example, I tried to say"did" and "does" at the same time... and it came out as "dud" haha! Kells and I decided that we're going to have a "pointe play date." Me=stoked. just saying :)

12:20 am: I leave Kelly's house. Haha :) Curfew? Je ne comprende pas :) Kidding! But seriously, it's all good. I managed to get back in the house with only two barks from Nugget. Not that I've ever really been given a time to be home by, but I hate waking my mom up. She did know where I was going though, so if Sprinkle did wake her up, at least she wasn't completely shocked.

And now it is 1:11am. I have to get up in a little over 6 hours, and tomorrow is my first day back at Henrico since Monday. That's a long time without dance class; at least for me. If Fink makes us do cross-training, I may or may not cry; at least on the inside. Goodnight my loves! Well, good morning really. But none of you (except maybe the incredibly insane Kelly) will even see this until the reasonable hours of the morning/afternoon tomorrow. So, in your case, good-day! Love you :]

Intro to happiness :)

So basically, my intro to humanities class just made my day today :) Mrs. Steele bought us all Chick-fil-a breakfast minis and sweet tea, and we spent the rest of class painting, complimenting each other, and just hanging out. Take a looksie!

Susan and I painting one of the paw prints :) I do love Susan. She's just so sweet!

The class! Kamau thinks he's a thug. Ha, I would be holding a dixie cup... fail!

Taylor thought it'd be funny to pose me this way. Wasted?! Yes, always... ha!

I laughed until I cried, haha. Honestly, my class wishes I was a party girl (or at least they like to pretend that I am one, haha).

And this, my friends, is my teacher (Mrs. Steele) talking about how bad she is at Mario Kart on the Wii, haha. Keep in mind she's the same teacher that often cancels my early bird class and let's me go to Wawa and Panera during intro. I do love her :)

When I leave high school, this will probably be the only class that I'll truly miss. We are so open to discussion and hearing other people's outlooks on various aspects of life; so thought provoking! I've also made some relationships with people that I never would have expected. A girl in my class today confided in me about something that she was struggling with emotionally. It was completely unexpected, but I felt touched that she trusted me enough to open up like that. And later on in class, when we all chose one person to compliment, she picked me :) I just felt so lovely in that moment; not because she said something nice about me, but because I felt like I had made a legitimate, genuine impression on someone :) I don't know, I just love being the person that others can confide in. Whether they're seeking advice or just someone to listen, I want to help in any way I can; because I feel like that's what I'm here for, and that makes me happy :)

I didn't get the scholarship tonight; which was kind of a bummer. However, one of the Civitan Club members sat at our table, and it was such a crazy coincidence. Not only is she a JMU alumni, but she was a social work major! So crazy! She talked about how many different career options are available with a social work degree, and she told me a little about what she had been doing; from Big Brothers/Big Sisters to working with the mentally handicapped. Eeeeep! I can't wait to start my career! Well, actually I can, but let's just say that I am most certainly looking forward to it!

I am happy. I am in a state of peace. I love you all. I bid thee goodnight :)

Hold Hope.

Since May 10th of last year, there have been three boys (that I had known) that committed suicide.

Stuart Slusher

Jackson Ramsey

Daniel Walker

This Hold Hope Initiative was started to help raise awareness and prevent teenage suicide after the loss of Stuart Slusher; a beloved son, brother, family member, and friend.
This is for Stuart, and everyone who has been affected by this.

Please, go here and vote for Hold Hope.

You can vote every day.

They need this grant.

Your help is essential, and appreciated.

Little me, future me, busy me.

Sometimes I wish I were a child; only not really. I have these visions in my head where I maintain the mind I have now, but I'm back in my six or seven year old body. I don't know, it's almost as though I feel like I'll be more carefree if I could just re-embody my younger self. At the same time, though, I imagine myself being more open to express myself in this state of youth; not really worried about wording things correctly or pre-editing what I really want to say. Is that weird? I think it's kind of a result of now being considered a legal adult. Not that I'm not enjoying it; because believe me I am! It's just that everything seems to have so much more weight now; my education, my responsibilities, my potential penalties. It isn't overwhelming, just a tad bit scary. 'Tis life though! And knowing that I'm not alone on this crazy, unpredictable journey brings me hope for a bright and lovely future :)

On a separate note, I'm kind of bummed that I'm missing youth group tomorrow. Aside from not getting to see you all, I heard the guest speaker is incredible. Ugh! I really wish I could be there! I do, I do, I do! But alas, I must go to this banquet. Please be praying that I will get this scholarship! I can use all of the help I can get to pay for college. Otherwise, I'll be in debt to my mom for the rest of my days; and that just doesn't sound all that appealing to me. Ya know? I may be hitting up El Chaps and/or dance rehearsal after this little shin-dig, but we shall see!

I'm beginning to discover that my greatest sense of joy in life is making others happy. Just the thought of other people's happiness brings me happiness! And if I can help provide said elation, then I just feel so good inside! Like I've done something truly right :) I think it's sensations like these that solidify my career choice. I want to be a social worker so badly! I want to improve the life-situations for those who are being abused, neglected, and oppressed. Maybe it'll start out on a small scale, but I hope that one day I can branch out to help fight global injustice through the International Justice Mission or something of that sort. I just really want to impact people's lives. I want to leave this earth knowing that I made a difference; no matter how small.

Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.
(Thank you for referencing this tonight, Connor McCormick!)

No early bird for the rest of the week! Woop woop! However, I do have to write a speech for government, a paper for English (my early bird class), and take notes in my lab log for physics (eww). In two weeks and three days, though, I will be done with all of my classes! Glory! I am looking forward to my intro to humanities class tomorrow, though. If it rains, then we'll be eating Chick-fil-a and watching Up! and Mona Lisa Smile. If it doesn't rain, then we'll eat Chick-fil-a and go paint outside :) Either one sounds okay in my book! But I'll leave you tonight with a little laugh via 1822 :)

A brief snippet of Jamal and Febes having a jam sesh :)

Oh no, I let my brain think again!

And here are some things that are floating around in there:

1. I'm becoming more aware of myself.

This sense of self-awareness is both mental and physical. I'm beginning to really notice my physical appearance; not in a harsh or critical way; just in an observant way. I'm also picking up on some habits and tendencies that I do all of the time but I'm not sure why. Examples: cracking my elbows, shifting my eyes, blinking [too] often, randomly pointing and flexing my feet, cracking my knuckles, etc. All of this may seem really random, and I know it isn't any sort of revelation, but these are things that generally float under my radar. And don't get me wrong, it's not that I've never looked at myself in the mirror or anything. Most of the time though, I look without really seeing; without analyzing. I suppose I first noticed that aspect of myself during dance class this year when Mrs. Fink was yelling at Extasis to stop "dancing in the mirror." There's a whole wall of mirrors in front of me, and I never once saw myself; I still don't actually. But what I mean is just in general. I'm becoming more cognizant of what I look like. And, like I said, it's neither positive nor negative; just an observation. I mean, my thought process is this: If I want to look like a bum, I will. If anyone has a problem with the way I look or dress, then they don't have to associate with me. You know? I do wonder sometimes, though, what people think of me; not that it would make any difference to me. I find comfort in the fact that I'm beautiful in the eyes of God; as well as my friends (at least I hope so, haha!). And for me, that's all that truly matters :)

2. How did my relationships get to where they are now?

Honestly, take a second to think about it. I am really close with some of you, but we haven't always been that way. Most of you who are reading this have only really known me for a few months! It's craziness! I was talking to Elsbeth about this tonight (and we have before, also). Yes, I love Elsbeth with all my heart, and our dates/parking lot chats are always lovely, but when/how did that happen? She claims that one day I just started squealing her name whenever I saw her and somehow convinced her to go on a Starbucks date, haha. Seriously though! Think about it! How did we create this incredible bond that we have now? I'm telling you, you may not know the answer. And, if you're like me, the uncertainty is going to drive you insane! Haha :)

3. Who/what really influences me and my lifestyle?

Scoob posed this question tonight, and it really registered in my brain. Although God is the foundation for my morals, motivations, actions, mindset, beliefs, etc., I took this question down to more of a secular level... My friends are definitely a huge influence on my life; my closest friends having the greatest impact. And, if you were to ask my opinion, I would say that you all have changed me for the better. You all have helped me break down my barriers and really grow in my spirituality and faith. You teach me so much, my loves! I thank God every day for blessing me with such amazing friends :) However, I also realize that I can often act in spite of my family; which is also influencing my actions. So, I have positive and negative influences at work, so it's up to me to keep myself in line; to maintain my obedience and not act out of selfishness. This thought train could go on for quite some time, but I'll let you ponder this question for yourself.

So yeah, these were just a few things that were lingering in the mental filing cabinet, and if anyone wants to discuss anything (whether it was brought up in this blog or not) I am more than interested in doing so! I love discussing life with my friends :) Oh! And you should answer these questions if you haven't already! I'm loving reading your responses :) Goodnight my loves!

Will you answer these?

I'm just curious. And I'd love to see what y'all say! Just for fun :)

(Feel free to explain your answers if you wish to!)

Preferences:

Day or night?

Dawn or dusk?

Tea or coffee?

Call or text?

Material or monetary gifts?

Visual or performance art?

Tall or short?

Inside or outside?

Chocolate or vanilla?

Miscellaneous:

Favorite season?

Favorite holiday/celebration?

Favorite color?

Favorite pastime?

Future aspirations?

If you were a flower, what kind would you be?

What about a tree?

Are you afraid of getting older?

If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you'd buy?